Never Say Never

Chapter 14

The next two weeks are... difficult, but Camila survives them.

She and Lauren settle into their new dynamic rather quickly, all things considered. Camila keeps calling her Miss Jauregui, focuses her attention solely on Leo, and they don't really talk much, anymore, unless it's about him.

And it's fine.

(It's not, it's anything but fine – sometimes she looks at Lauren and she's desperate to say something to get her exterior to crack, to get her to open up, to just look at her with eyes that aren't wary and guarded or, worse, completely and utterly disinterested, but this is what Lauren had wanted, what Lauren thought was best , so Camila does nothing even though sometimes it feels like it's going to kill her).

She leaves the house almost as soon as Lauren gets home, and she doesn't think they've been in a room alone together for longer than thirty seconds since that night .

She's noticed that Lauren hasn't been working as late, recently – or perhaps she's just leaving her office early and working through the night in her study, instead, based on the bags under her eyes that she tries hard to hide, but Camila can't ask her what's wrong, or if she's taking care of herself, so she just has to bite her tongue – meaning that she's often home a lot earlier, with free time on her hands.

She keeps herself busy, with Sofi and Maggie or Veronica and Lucy (who she's finally met, and who doesn't immediately hate her on sight, despite the fact that Camila had slept with her girlfriend).

When she's not with them, she's at the gym, or working on her paper with Diana, or trying to put herself out there and make more friends in the city.

(She's joined a cooking class, and she's a bit of a disaster, makes the teacher despair, sometimes, but she can now make three basic dishes and even though they'd been very doubtful, she hadn't given Sofi or Maggie food poisoning when she'd cooked for them last week).

She even gets dragged to a gay bar one weekend by Veronica when Lucy's working, Veronica promising to be her wingwoman for the night. She doesn't go home with anyone, but she dances with a few girls and gets a few phone numbers, and Veronica's been pestering her ever since to message one of them.

She hasn't, yet, but the possibility is there, and that's something, some small little victory, evidence that she can come out the other side.

All in all, she's busier than she has been since she graduated from college, but there's still a part of her that feels empty, like she's not completely whole, no matter how hard she tries to fill the void.

//

Normani and Dinah arrive in New York City the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and Camila practically bounces her way to the restaurant she's meeting them at for dinner, because it's been way too long since she saw her cousin, and her visit couldn't have come at a better time, a welcome distraction from her own tumultuous life.

Dinah is already sitting at a table when she arrives, but she stands and wraps her in a tight hug when she reaches her, sweeping her off her feet and around in a circle, making her feel like a little kid all over again.

"Hey, little cousin." There's an easy smile on her mouth when she sets her down, her eyes bright, and she looks happier than she thinks she's ever seen her. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too." She notices that the table is only set for two, and frowns. "Is Mani not coming?"

"She is having drinks with Lauren," she tells her, sitting back down, Camila settling opposite her, and her eyebrows rise in surprise.

"I thought they hated each other?"

"They kinda do? But they also kind of don't and are really good friends even though they're nearly always mean to one another?" That sounds more like the relationship Camila thought they had. "I don't really understand it, but I don't question these things."