Never Say Never

Chapter 21

Camila very nearly doesn't turn up for work, when the 2nd rolls around.

She'd returned to New York City on New Year's Eve, spent the night out with Sofi, Maggie, Veronica and Lucy, had even found someone to kiss when the clock struck twelve, but it wasn't even a shadow of the kiss she'd shared with Lauren, and she'd been quick to pull away.

The break had been nice, despite the circumstances.

She'd quickly forgiven Normani for her interfering, knowing she thought she was helping, and she'd spent the following day dragging her around bridal shops to get her opinion on wedding and bridesmaid dresses to keep her mind off of Lauren.

She'd even gotten the chance to spend some time with Ariana and James whilst she'd been in Metropolis, which had been amazing – she doesn't get to see her enough, and when Ariana told her that they were thinking about moving to New York, would be coming over soon to go apartment hunting, Camila had squealed and hugged her so tight she'd lifted her clean off the ground.

So, all things considered, she's had a pretty good couple of weeks – until she has to go to bed on New Year's Day, knowing that she's going to be seeing Lauren in the morning.

Her stomach is in knots, and she doesn't sleep well, tosses and turns late into the night before exhaustion finally takes over.

It takes a herculean effort to drag herself out of bed the next morning, to force her legs to propel herself out of the front door and onto the street, setting off on her usual route to Lauren's apartment.

She doesn't knock when she gets there, uses her key instead, just to buy her a few more moments before she has to come face to face with the woman who's been haunting her dreams.

Her conversation with Normani is never far from her mind, and she wonders what she'd said to Lauren after Camila had gone to bed – whatever it was clearly hadn't had the intended effect, because Camila hasn't heard from Lauren since the text that Camila had ignored on Christmas Day.

She takes a deep breath before she makes her way down the hallway, but before she can make her way towards the end of it, she hears the sound of tiny feet running towards her, and laughs as Leo hurls himself into her arms.

She lifts him up and swings him around in a circle, some of her nerves easing now that she has him in her arms.

"Hey, kiddo."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too." She had, so much, and if not for how much she adored him, she knows she wouldn't have come back at all (in all honesty, the thought of quitting is still on her mind, and the only thing really holding her back is Leo, and how upset he would be). "Did you have a good Christmas?"

"It was okay." Camila wonders if he's been difficult, if he blames Lauren for Camila being gone for so long. "Thank you for my presents."

"You liked them?"

"Yeah!"

"Have you used them yet?"

"Yeah, come see." She's still by the front door, still rooted to the spot, but she draws strength from the boy in her arms and forces herself forwards, telling herself that she can do this, she has got this, and everything's going to be just fine.

But then she sees her – Lauren is leaning against the back of the couch, and she's tapping on her phone but when she hears Camila she looks up, meets her gaze and Camila freezes, because she'd thought she was ready, but god, she really, really wasn't.

She'd thought that she was okay, that over the course of the past two weeks she's begun to pull herself together, the pain of their last night in London fading, just a little – she'd thought that she'd be able to face Lauren again and not have it all rush back to her.