Golden Days (FrostIron)

Chapter 2: Thinking

Despite his husband's wish, Tony didn't get much sleep that night.

"Are you alright, Tony?" Bruce asked, one lunch. "You seem but out of it."

"You do seem troubled," Thor said. "Is there something between you and my brother?"

"No, no," Tony replied. "Not exactly. It's just..." He paused for a moment to find the right words. "You guys live basically forever, right?"

Thor was slightly caught off guard by the question. "Not quite," he said. "About two thousand years at least is expected. In my father's case, sometimes we live for far longer."

Tony played with the bits of crust that sat in front of him, leftover from his sandwich. "What's it like?"

Tony had a feeling Thor knew what he was referencing. If he did, he didn't show it. "It is a wonderful gift," he said. "The sights you see, the things you experience over that time. Your strength and youth is preserved for much of it, if enhanced."

Thor's neutral face turned slightly sour, his voice lowered. "But it does come with its prices. I do not mean to sound morbid, but I do not look forward to the day where I must say goodbye to my shield brothers."

Tony thought back to Steve, the man out of time. He had mourned over his loved one. But Tony wouldn't be leaving his loved one behind. Heck, he'd bet that, if he really asked, Loki would go out of his way to make the whole team immortal.

"Even if you could make others immortal," Bruce added as if reading his mind, "they would have people they wish to stay with. Where would it end? Everyone would have people they'd leave behind. Even if you did die eventually. It would be endless heartbreak."

That's it, Tony thought. He could never ask such a thing.

"Loki said it himself to me; I will never be ready. But there is little I can do about it." Thor seemed to become aware of his grim expression, instead changing to a small smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. "But I would never choose to not have met you at all, friend Tony. It is something I will treasure for however long I live."

It pained Tony to think of Loki going through the same. If he did choose the apple, though, he would be the one mourning. For Bruce, for Rhodey, for Peter. Everyone he ever held close, gone. That's too much of a price to fix grey hairs.

Tony made up his mind, and he knew Loki's mind wouldn't be settled. When the husbands met up that evening for a movie, Tony brought up the topic one last time.

"Okay so, about the whole golden apple thing," he sighed. He turned away from Loki's gaze, unable to meet his eyes, knowing they would turn sad. "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to say no."

Loki was silent. His face ever so slightly hinted confusion and almost sadness. "Why?" he asked.

"I'd be leaving everyone behind. I love you. I love you so much, but... Peter, Rhodes, Pepper, the rest of the team. I can't leave them behind."

Loki's sadness visibly turned to anger. He looked as if he was about to counter it (most likely with something nasty against his friends and which he would later regret and apologize for), but the fire dissipated. Tony's eyes begged Loki to understand. He sighed and said nothing.

"I'm sorry, but, it's like delicate machinery. You can't try to fix part of it without tools. You'll just disturb another piece. Humans just weren't meant to live for thousands of years. Nothing beautiful lasts forever, Lokes."

"But I can make it last forever," Loki suddenly shouted. "I can make you last forever. I couldn't- I can't go on for centuries after the only thing that makes my life worth living is gone." All indifference was thrown out the window, leaving behind a sad and pleading expression.

Tony's expression held endless empathy, but he stayed firm in his decision. "Loki, you've given me the most generous offer anyone could ever give," he explained, his voice soft. "But I can't accept it. It just seems too... selfish." Loki tensed slightly, as if the word stung.

Tony stood, empty coffee mug in hand. "I'm sorry. If you need some time alone-" He stopped as Loki grabbed his wrist.

"No," he said, his voice dry as if he'd been crying. "It would only mean less time with you." He brought up Tony's hand to kiss. "If we're only going to have so much time together, I'll take every second."

Tony smiled softly, which Loki didn't quite return. Nope! There would be no sad husband on his watch. "Will you still like me when I'm old and grey and senile?"

"I'm fairly sure the senile part has been long achived," Loki countered. He chuckled at Tony's offended exclamation. Loki stood, giving his husband a kiss. "It'll take more than that to get rid of me."