The White Higanbana

Rue

Friday, 7.15 p.m., Dining hall.

Here we are, with my father and his wife, Miranda, having our dinner. I can't remember when was the last time I saw him. He was barely home, all he did was work and work, and... still work. What can I say though, he's a businessman after all. He's been to lots of country, and I stayed with my nana, basically raised by her. He was still loving, caring and talks softly, even though I only see he 3 to 4 times every year. However, things were never the same after nana passed away. He stayed, working from home and his true personality showed more and more. From loving and caring to scolding and sarcasm. He went back to work like before two years later, after he met Miranda.

I was so lost in my own world, and Miranda snapped me out of it. 'Rhea? You good? You seem off,' she asked with a soft tone. Ugh, I hate this tone, it sounded fake. Not bothering to answer her question, I just hummed and continue devouring my food. Then I listen to their conversation quietly.

'I'm off to America the day after tomorrow. Might stay there 3 weeks or more,' said my father.

'But you just got back from Dubai. Take a few days break, at least,'

'I can't. I have meetings and papers to sign. The client is a big one, can't lose this chance,'

'Okay then. Try not to overwork yourself, promise?'

'Promise,' he said.

I scoffed at his so-called promise. Promise. Hah. Promise, he said. Only to be broken afterwards. He noticed it and warned with a dangerous tone, 'mind your tone, young lady. I'm your father, show some respect,'

Usually, I wasn't bothered by him but today I feel the urge to fight back, so I did. 'Are you worth of my respect?' And that was his last straw. Bang! He put down his utensils harshly, standing up while yelling my name out loud, 'Rhea Dearbhla Addams!' 'What?!' I shouted back. Then I felt my head snapped to my right side.

He slapped me.

I did not move but just chuckled. 'As expected. Can't even face your problem like a man. Just like I said, you are not worth of my respect,' then I left the dining table. No use to stay, right?

Attic, 7.52 p.m.

I stood in front of the mirror. His hand print still raw on my face. I could feel the stinging sensation on my cheek. But I don't feel like crying. People won't pity you when you cry. They make fun of you, instead. I learned that the hard way.

Coming out of the bathroom, I wrote my diary. One good thing about writing diary is you can write whatever you feel at the moment. You write the memories down, so they can't be forgotten. You write your feelings down, but they can't be judged. You write your sadness down, and they will be left in black and white. That's the beauty of writing.

Soon it was midnight. I took my jacket and went down stairs, ready to head to Arnos Vale. Then I overheard their conversation.

'I'm worried about your daughter, Cale. She became less... her. She used to pretend she was happy but now it got worse, she didn't even bother to pretend anymore. It's like... like she's shut herself out from the world,'

'She's your daughter, too. Don't be so unassured of yourself. According to the law, you're...'

'That's not my point, Cale. What I'm saying is she is changing. And not in a good way,'

'So what? People change. Besides, everyone loses someone at a certain point. She'll get through it somehow,'

'Cale...'

'Look at her, Miranda! She's not respecting me! Did you not notice her tone?'

'Maybe because you're not giving her the attention and the respect she deserves?'

'The heck you're talking about?!'

'Just give her time. She's sensitive,'

'Time? Time, you say. She's 17! She needs to be independent! Besides, people don't just stop and wait for you to be better! If you're weak, you're cut off! She will learn that the world does not revolve around her, because that is the reality! Hell, I wish she was never born,'

Never born... Never born... Never born... His words lingered in my mind. the next second, I found myself kneeling in between two graveyards. One was my nana's and beside her was... my mom.