Where Were You? An Emblem3 Fanfiction

'Age Is Just A Number'

DREW

^^^^^^^^

I am fighting tired, heavy eyes, they temp me to let myself fall back to sleep. Something inside of me pushes me awake, insisting that I need to be there as much as I can for Autumn's first day of school. I feel like I need to be there for this, I might not have been there for her before but I honestly want to make a change, I want her to see that I'm trying. I really am trying though, trying pretty damn hard.

I want things to go back to normal so bad. I know that it was never normal but there were times where I was genuinely happy and so was Autumn, which almost out weighs the sadness. I don't know looking back I see the things that I took for granted. I want the skateboarding sessions and the guitar lessons back and the fighting, even though there is nothing to fight about. She's all grown up now and maybe she's grown out of her old self, I just wish I was there to at least see it.

There is nothing I want more than to creep back under the covers and let the sweet language of dreams take me away for an extra half hour but I force myself awake, bribing my brain with coffee. Even with the promise of coffee my whole body is groggy and heavy. I feel like my head is full of cotton wool and I can't hear anything properly. I feel floaty and heavy at the same time, it's weird, like a feeling you can't begin to describe but it feels familiar.

I trudge down stairs to give my body the promised coffee. I pass Keaton's room and I know that he'll probably already be ready, listening to music or on his iPhone, damn he loves that thing. He's always been the earliest riser, that's fine with me because he gets ready silently and never wakes any one up so I get sleep. He's considerate like that, Keaton thinking of others before him self.

He's always been like that though, unless you knew him as well as me and Wes you'd think he was this tiny, shy, timid guy when really he can be as funny as fuck and knows exactly what to do if someone is feeling down. He thinks with his heart, doing what he thinks is right, not necessarily the things that will make him happy.I've always thought it must be really hard to do that, not think of yourself all the time.

He has always said that he wanted my mindset and outlook of things but I'd much prefer his selflessness. My outlook is just me thinking but almost not thinking at the same time, just letting words flow. Sometimes the words will be refined and practiced but other times they will be course and stark. It is what is it, You get what you're given.

I think that sometimes no body knows that they are truly alive, no one realises that they are living in the now and not the yesterday. The people that dwell, that look back and regret. I never want to be like that, I never want to regret. I want to live life to the full, enjoy it whist I can, and then die happy and peacefully, filled with satisfaction.

My mind constantly thinks of the future, the state of enlightenment I'd like to be, and the state of enlightenment I would like the world to be. By spreading a message it wakes people up, makes them realise that, yes, they are alive and to cherish each moment. People might think I'm weird or 'too deep' or even plain crazy but it's not them I'm reaching out to. I'm reaching out to the open minded people, the ones that aren't afraid to dream, and show them that normal is boring, just another word.

I stop short at the sight of Autumn on the sofa, she is deep in sleep, wrapped up snugly on Wesley's chest. It all looks a little too close, a little too friendly, I'm not sure I like it. Her blonde waves curl around Wes' neck and he's looking pretty wiped out too. They both look peaceful, almost happy.

I sneak over to the kitchen, I don't know why I sneak but for some reason I don't want then to know I've seen them. I don't know how to feel, this isn't exactly the kind of thing that always happens to me, I'm meant to always have an answer but for this one I'm short. Being asleep next to each other doesn't mean anything though, right?