THE INBETWEEN ~ STEVE ROGERS [5]

A Lonely Queen

Someone was tapping their fingernails on the edge of their seat.

Tip, tap. Tip, tap.

It was infuriating, the never-ending of it. I took a deep breath in, cool air reaching the very depths of my lungs. It didn't do anything to help the tightness in my chest, or fill the widening hole that was growing in my stomach. It was simply breathing. Another cycle of living I had to endure.

Shit. This was harder than I thought.

My brother's throne was empty. I wasn't going to sit there, not like this. Instead I took my seat at his right hand side, back pressed up against the soft patterned fabric. The tapping continued, one of the Elders staring at the floor with glazed eyes.

There were few left, under half. The presence of those that had disappeared in the Snap was felt like a swift knife through the heart, an ebbing void that darkened the atmosphere.

The tapping was overshadowed by Okoye's boots clicking on the floor as she entered the room, two guards closing the door and taking position after her. Even now she stood tall and proud, her shoulder's never slouching for a moment. I could not say the same for myself.

I caught her eye and she nodded, an invitation for me to start the meeting.

Another deep breath. I glanced at the throne beside me. Standing up, I rubbed my knuckles together, the skin raw from too many long nights at the boxing bag. My traditional Wakandan garb was stiff and unfamiliar, far too formal for such an occasion.

"Welcome, Council. What is left of us, anyway." My throat was dry, scratchy. The Elders all nodded in response. My eyes were runaways, darting nervously from floor to ceiling to wall to Okoye. The sharp tug in my chest reminded me that I didn't want to be here.

"I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. In fact," a deep sigh shuddered through me. "I wish I didn't have to be here at all. But we have things to discuss."

Again, all I received were nods. I knew that I would get little more than that in response throughout the meeting. My mouth was dry and I swallowed nervously, knowing I was going to be doing most of the talking.

"The Queen Mother could not be here with us, so she has asked General Okoye to speak on her behalf." I made brief eye contact with Okoye and the slight tilt of her head was her response. I took a shaky breath.

"The King is gone. I, I wish I could say it better but that is the truth of it. King T'Challa and Princess Shuri were taken from us in the event now being called the Snap." Thumbs rolling over the hardened skin of my palms, my eyes stayed to the floor, or the wall, anywhere but someone else's gaze.

"I have, as you know, avoided this meeting for the last few weeks despite your consistent communication. The truth is, Council, is that I have no desire to take my brothers throne."

A few sharp intakes of breath from the Elders, wide eyes and swift head shakes. I buried the lump in my throat and continued.

"I am not equipped to run a nation. I have not the skills, the compassion, the guidance to take on that role. In fact, I refuse to. I have the hope our King will be returned to us, someday, and his throne will be waiting for him in the meantime."

The disgruntled faces of the Elders soon changed to down turned mouths. It occurred to them, just now, what asking me to take my brothers throne would mean. For many of them, they had only just accepted my place amongst them, and to ask to become Queen was, well, an impossible favour. I was not a ruler, not like my brother was.

I nodded at Okoye and she stepped forward, chin up. I envied her strength.

"It is the wish of Princess Khethiwe, and with the Queen Mothers agreement, that the Princess, Queen Mother and I, split the responsibilities of the nation between us. We will serve as temporary Stewardess' of Wakanda, until the day of the King's return."

"With your blessing, Elders of the Council, we will implement this immediately. General Okoye will protect and defend us and those that need us, and The Queen Mother will look after the financial aspects of our kingdom," I added, the lines I had rehearsed coming out as perfectly as they had last night.

"And what will you do, Princess?" One of the Elders spoke, the first if the meeting. His voice was gravelly, the same as mine, from nights of tear-stained cheeks, and his eyes held the very same emptiness I saw reflected in the mirror.

I forgot, sometimes, that we are all broken. I have lost my brother and my sister, but they have lost their king. Their hope had been snatched from them as quickly as it was given. None of us were unaffected. None of us were whole anymore.

"I will look after the needs of the people. That is where my heart lies. But none of us will take the throne. I shall remain at the right side, as is my duty. I hope you will support me, as is yours."

Silence, booming in my ears as loudly as an explosion, filled that throne room. I was on the verge, fingers trembling pressed against my stomach, the cavity that was my chest filling like a balloon with emotions I couldn't even describe if I wanted to. Grief is a leech, sucking the life from your bones as quickly as I watched my friends turn to dust barely a month before. This was our reality. There was no going back to fix the mistakes.

I had not been strong enough to stop him. Even now, in the silence and the waiting, I was replaying that day back in my head.

I almost had him too. Burning, bright, white and green. But he trapped me in a glass box, a box that got smaller and smaller as I watched him destroy everything. At night, I could feel my bones being crushed, compacted as if it were happening all over again.

We would never be the same.

"We will give you our blessing, our Princess."

I was snapped from my reminiscence by the same Elder who had spoken before. He looked me in the eyes and this time I held his gaze.

"The Elders Council will support you in any way that we can. You have our full support, from every Tribe."

I looked out at them. This is what my homeland had left. The Elders, The General and The Firebird. I breathed out, unaware I had been holding it, heart pounding so loud I could feel it in my throat.

We would have to do.       

Authors Note

Haha, hi all! Its been a while. Been a super tough year, and I know many of you may have given up on me and this story, But fear not, for 2022 is the year I complete Keight's tale. I hope I get new readers, and old ones, and pretty sure the fifth and final installment will be underway. 

Until then, stay safe and stay groovy my lovelies.

~JJ