Change Your Mind

7

Riley

"hey jelly bean" Dad smiled as I walked into our house that night
Jelly bean had been my nickname ever since I was 1 and got one stuck in my nose, the 10 hours we were stuck in A&E really made the name stick
"Hey" I smiled going over to hug him
He kissed my cheek as I stood back up

"How was dance?" He asked and I shrugged
"Same old same old" I replied sitting in the arm chair next to him
"Yeah? Nothing knew to report?" He asked and I shook my head
"Emily told me A-Troupe auditions would be this week. She's still keen on you at least attempting it" He said and I rolled my eyes
"Just because her A-Troupe days were the best she'd had doesn't mean it would be the same for me" I said and he nodded
"I know Rile but maybe give it a shot see what happens?" He offered
"Isn't West on the team?" He asked and I nodded

"And Eldon" I replied, Dad knows Eldon just down to Emily and his little fling if you even want to call him that
"God I haven't heard that name in years" He chuckled and I smiled
Eldon would follow Emily around like a little lost puppy, similar to James right now
Another similarity is that isn't going to end the same way
Being nothing but Strangers...

--

After a long talk with Dad I headed upstairs with my dance bag
I threw it down on my bed as I headed to my closet to get out of the dance clothes
Emily and I used to be as close as could be and it was all in motion that I would join A-Troupe on her last year so she would have the chance to show me the ropes before leaving
 But that didn't happen..

After the whole James debacle I didn't want to be anywhere near him and it seemed to cause a rift between Emily and I
Even when she knew everything that had happened 
Her being the overconfident, headstrong Emily we all know and love only had one solution and that was to show James everything he had to try and destroy 
But why should I give him that gratification 

As soon as I was dressed I unpacked my dance bag and was about to refill it when a letter grabbed my attention
It was not there when I packed it this morning that much I know 

I slumped down onto my bed taking the letter in my hand before getting the courage to open it..

'To Riley 

I don't know where to start or even where to end but I guess I want to apologise..
After hearing what I did I don't blame you for hating me. I can't believe I ever did something so vile 

I know that no matter what I say or do it's not going to matter, this is something unfixable, unforgivable and I guess I just want you to know if I could take it back I would 

I hate that I'm the reason you are attempting to reach your full potential, You deserve your shot at A-Troupe. You have more talent then I have in my little finger
So if this is something you want, you can have A-Troupe. I'll bow out
I'll let you have your chance to shine in a James free world 

From now on, I'll do my best to steer clear of your life (minus classes because I'm afraid that is out of my control)
You can have your life back and I promise I won't step foot in it again 

I truly am sorry for what I did but I just want to say that you are so much stronger then I think anyone gives your credit for
You came back from the unthinkable. In fact you came back from a place that is worse then hell
And I'm sorry I put you there 

James'

I read the letter a few times before really letting it sink in
A James Free World is all I've wanted for years but why now does it feel like it not something I want?
I want to go back to when this happened and never fall into the deep end 

but I also want to go back to when he was oblivious to the fact of the matter
It was a lot easier to ignore..