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epilogue

Epilogue

A/N: Omg i guess it's already been months since this story was completed. But just today, I was going through the comments in the last letter and some of you seemed pretty confused and well, dissatisfied with how the story ended so - thanks to my beautiful friend Raeesa - I decided to write an epilogue! clap clap clap.

CHACE'S POV

     They say that my condition is worsening at a rapid pace, now. The doctors are having trouble evaluating the exact time of my death but they doubt that I'll last for more than a few weeks.     

 

     Yesterday, my mom brought in a bundle of letters for me. I didn't count exactly how many of them were there but I guess it was about twenty four to twenty five letters. All from the girl I love more than anything else in life - Violet.       

     Violet was - I want to refer to her in the past tense because she is no longer a part of my life and I am no longer a part of hers - a girl who stole my breath and heart away the moment I saw her across the room approximately three hundred and eighty one days ago. And yes, I've been counting. That's the only thing that keeps me sane within these white, pale walls of the hospital.

     These past few months have been hell for me but I'm not complaining because I don't even deserve to do that. The way I pushed Violet away and made her hate me and probably even love, it was downright cruel. The most fucking cruel thing I have ever done in my entire life. Entire life of eighteen years, that is.

     While reading all those letters that Violet had written to me, I cried like a little baby and I had to punch the wall a few times to feel manly again. I didn't feel manly again though because I started crying harder after my body started aching like a bitch after I tried to punch the walls.

     Every one has been asking me the same question, lately. "Why would you do that to V, Chace?"      

     But they don't understand. No one will ever understand. Violet was my everything, she always will be. But breaking her heart because of me being a jerk is better than breaking her heart because of me dying. I guess I've been influenced a lot by the books and movies where the lover is diagnosed with cancer and the other person stays with him or her till the very end because that's what love is.      

     Love isn't that. Love is giving up. Love is moving on. And love, it is anything but being selfish.

     I knew that after Violet found out about my disease, she would come back to me, forgive me and demand to stay by my side forever. I didn't want that.

       Violet Taylor was a beautiful young woman. She was reckless, intrepid and graceful all at the same time. She could get so much more, she deserved so much more. And I wasn't going to be the jerk that kept her away from it.

     My cousin Kyla helped me lead Violet into thinking that I have been cheating on her all this time. Kyla wasn't too thrilled about it but she was the only person I knew I could trust even with closed eyes.

     One day, I remember it was a Thursday night, Violet and I had been laying on her bed, talking about everything and nothing. She had told me that the only way she would hate me in life was if I cheated on her. At that moment, I had laughed at the idea of cheating on her because it was absolutely ridiculous. I would cut off my fingers one by one than even think of cheating on Violet.

     But when push came to shove, I used that against her and just as I had predicted, she had backed away.

       Violet had finally let go and I was both happy and sad because of that. It inexplicably felt like I had gained something very important and at the same time, lost something equally as important to me.

     I was going to die soon. I could feel it within me. The blood pumping in my veins, the heart beating in my chest and the fluids filtering in and out of my body all said the same thing - my time had come.

     Violet and I were never the cliched type of couple. We barely talked about things that were considered romantic. And yet, we were - in our own way - special. We were two storms who had collided and stuck together by choice. We were both similar and different in many ways. We were in love but never out of love with each other.

       Our love was everything like those romance novels and at the same time, nothing like it. Our love never got the chance to be written completely but at the same time, it had a perfectly sensible ending.

     I would never get to watch Violet grow old with me, or have my children with her. I would never get to say my wedding vows to her. I would never get to love her for many more years to come.

     What I would get was the memories of our love. The way it felt to hold her in my arms, the way it felt to see her genuinely happy and even the way it felt to kiss her and feel my entire heart and soul burst open.

       And I would get to take those memories of her with me, six-feet underground.