COMPLETED
Penn State University.
Home to the craziest sorority girls, most obnoxious football players, and a girl who never wanted to be there in the first place.
Ellie Webber hates Penn State. But she is only there because her twin brother is the...
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Reese Joseph
This was all such a mistake.
Why was I even touching Ellie Webber? Because my mind was telling me to but my heart was tugging me in the complete opposite direction. I wanted to hook up with her at this damn party– but the more I became sober, the more I realized exactly why my mind was telling me to fuck her.
NJ.
God, I was a fucking disgrace.
I had never let someone get close enough to touch my heart and Naomi did. I fucking despised myself for it. I wanted so many times to look down at her while I was inside of her and just tell her– I'm sorry and that I couldn't do this but what kind of man would I be?
The men who touched me when I was younger always told me to finish the job. The men who harmed me when I was younger exposed my emotions to the point that I was simply emotionally unable to ever.
I couldn't fathom feeling my heartbeat for someone ever again.
Those men had ruined the love in my veins that I had for myself and the chances of me loving anyone else ever.
Except for Naomi.
I could relate to her more than anyone.
But she just didn't like me back.
So while I was inside of her, I just completely blacked out. I took myself out of whatever position I was in with her– and I didn't even finish. When I felt the tears start to fill my eyes, I just stopped and left her in my bed.
I took off the condom that had– nothing inside of it. Literally nothing. I was a failure who didn't get the job done.
I stared into the mirror in my bathroom and prayed that she was falling asleep in my bed. I needed to get her out of my room so I could just– cry. I needed to cry and scream, I needed a joint and I needed to break shit.
I gripped the countertops between my fingers and tried to get ahold of myself.
