Evergreen - Cruella/Estella x Reader (GXG)

Don't forget - Part 2

Part 2 – Estella/Cruella POV –

I didn't mean to leave her without a word. I shouldn't have left her at all. I certainly didn't want to, Y/N certainly has a way of capturing all of my attention and making me lose all rationality. But I had no choice. Getting that necklace was the biggest job we had ever done, we had been planning it for weeks. I knew how much of a risk it was if it went wrong, and I cared too much about Y/N to get her mixed up in that. So I left her that morning hoping that everything would be back to normal a few days later.

It's silly really, what I gave up and risked for that necklace. I know it deep down it is just a necklace, but it means a lot to me. It's the only thing I have left of my mum, I promised her I would look after it and I let her down. The least I could do for her was get it back. Jasper and Horace definitely don't understand it - in fact, there are many things about me that I am not sure they will ever understand.

Y/N understood me in ways that other people never have. I knew deep down she saw the real me, the authentic me, not just the me I pretended to be to please others. I wish I was able to be more honest with her, I wish I opened up to her when I had the chance to, but I never did. I thought telling her about the necklace, about my Mum, and how I felt I was the one responsible for her death, would have scared her away. I was certain if I told her the truth she would run a mile.

That night at the ball all the memories of the night my Mum died came flooding back to me. When I heard the deafening ringing sounds of the Baronesses whistle as she called her dogs on me, I was reminded of the night she had called them on my mum. It wasn't an accident at all, the Baroness murdered her. How could I tell Y/N that? She would think I was mad.

After the ball, I lay in bed crying whilst I re-lived the painful memories of that night in my mind. I was devastated. I felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest.  A million thoughts ran through my mind at once. I wished that Y/N could have been there. I wanted her to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. The grief I was feeling turned into anger, which pulsed through my veins like lava. There was no way I was going to let the Baroness get away with this. I was Cruella now, not sweet Estella, and so I began planning my revenge.

I wanted so desperately to go to Y/N's, to tell her everything. But I couldn't. My heart was too heavy and I didn't want to burden her with it. She deserved so much better than me. Plus it would have been too dangerous. The baroness had already taken everything I had that night, I was not going to let her take Y/N away from me too. She was too precious, too important to me. There was no way I was going to put her life in danger. I'd do anything to protect her and keep her safe. 

I remember the night I left her. As she lay there delicately in my arms, she told me that she loved me. Hearing those words come from her mouth was equally exhilarating and terrifying. They created a warmth that ignited every single inch of my body, but terrified me to a point where I wasn't even able to respond. A paralysis took over my body momentarily as my mind raced with all sorts of thoughts. Did she mean it? I was certain she did. that was the scariest thing, I didn't want to hurt her like I had everyone else in my life. And so I just kissed her forehead and lay there in the silence that now filled the room like a darkness. It was the most bittersweet moment of my life. I was so stupid not to respond. I wish now that I had and I told her I loved her too. But I was too scared and now I might never get the chance to tell her how I really feel.

Months had passed since I last saw Y/N. To say they were eventful is certainly an understatement. My plan of revenge was in full-force, Estella continued to work for the Baroness as Cruella upstaged her at every given opportunity. I had somehow managed to get the whole country hooked on the mystery of who Cruella was, and I was loving every second of it. Though I still thought about Y/N constantly. Jasper said he felt I was no longer myself, that I had become a totally different person and that he missed Estella. I refused to listen, I have always been Cruella deep down, I won't apologise for that. But I am not the cold hearted monster he thinks I am either. However, regardless of how much it hurt to be without her, I was now more certain than ever that Y/N was better off without me.

But then something happened that changed my mind. As the warehouse I once called home became a brutal and catastrophic inferno, I realised how important Y/N was to me. I could only think of her as I struggled to free myself from the tight ropes that the Baronesses guards had used to tie me to the chair. My body began to weaken as the heavy thick smoke filled the room. I fought so hard to keep my eyes open, but I wasn't able to fight it any longer. As the darkness fell all I could hear was the sweetness of her voice as the words I love you echoed through my mind.

I truly thought that I was going to die without telling her I loved her. I realised when I woke that I should have said to her all those months ago when I had the chance to. Life was too short to be without her, I had to be with her, to see her once again. I had to make this right, I couldn't be without her any longer. I needed to tell her everything – but most of all, I needed to tell her I loved her.

AN - As always I hope you like this chapter. I am still simping for cruella. B x