You cared about me for years than one day pretended I didn't exist.
You never talked to me in front of them it was always behind closed doors or text.
To everyone else we weren't even friends we barely even talked so us not texting of those smiles you'd flash at me across the room in reassurance you were there, those being gone for months meant nothing to anyone not even you just to me. they killed me from the inside out. but I thought I meant more to you than that, I thought we were at least friends.
How do you do it. See me everyday knowing that this smile is fake knowing all my secrets I only shared with you what lies behind my long sleeves and those thoughts that go through my mind. How do you walk around knowing I want to take my own life.
I wish you hadn't left. Was it me or you I still don't know.
I need you to survive ever since you left its like I've slipped away worse than I ever was.
Do you look at the smiles and laughs and believe them the captions on pictures of me saying "I'm happy" have I finally convince the one person who knew the real me besides me that I am okay.
Well I'm here to tell you know if your reading this and you know me than listen because this is the last time I'm reaching out the last shed of hope I'll hold onto for this shit excuse of a life.
I'm not okay, I'm so much worse.
