I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to eat or move or talk or do anything I just wanted to be numb more then anything. noises are like blasting sirens now and walking makes me dizzy and I feel delirious and lost. I just want to feel hear see do nothing. I just need this all to freeze. I need to process. I need time to stop life to stop but it won't so maybe I should just. stop...
