Addiction

Part 1

Her watch reads 2am. She knows it’s late and she shouldn’t call him, but frankly she’s at her wits end and she heard he’s in LA working with a film producer. She fights with herself just a moment longer before taking a deep breath and releasing a long sigh as she picks up the phone. Her elegant well-manicured fingers gently hover over the screen, scrolling down to the “G”s, quickly finding the name she’s looking for. She stares at it doubtfully, perhaps over-thinking again, she’s not sure but he’s probably asleep in his hotel room, she’d be waking him up. “Fuck it!” She suddenly says to herself out-loud as she makes up her mind and presses lightly on the screen, checking the call goes through before pressing the phone to her ear. It rings…and rings…and rings. Maybe he’s not in, but then he is a deep sleeper, she remembers that from all the times he’s stayed with them in the past. Suddenly the ringing stops and a gruffly voice clears his throat on the other end before grumbling “Hello…” in the common question-like tone someone adopts when they’re not sure who they are speaking to. He sounds tired and a little confused. She doubts he checked to see who the caller is, “Gary, its Ayda” she speaks gently, almost timidly, hoping this is the right decision but doubting every decision she’s been making recently. “Sorry for waking you” she continues…”but I didn’t know what to do”, a crack starts to form in her voice as if to emphasise her words.
“What’s up Ayda?! Is it Rob? Is he ok?” Gary’s voice suddenly sounds clear and alert.
“Yes, and I’m worried Gaz, I don’t know what to do, I want to be there for him but I just can’t – not now, not by myself. I’m just worried about what’ll he’ll do – no one’s getting through to him…but then I heard you were here in LA…”
“yeah, landed yesterday” he interrupts, “But love, I’m not sure what I can do – if anything he’s likely to refuse to see me, you know what he’s like!”
“But you can try!” Ayda continues desperately, she knows why he’s hesitant, she understands it but she’s desperate. “Ayda – “
“NO GARY! You have got to try and get through to him, he WILL listen to you, I know he will” she pleads.
“Maybe if we both go over, then –“
“No, I can’t! You know I can’t, it’s just does him no good, me being there, it gives him mixed signals, false hopes that we’ll get back together….” She can feel tears forming at the corners of her eyes now, she may have ended her marriage to Robbie, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still love him and care for his well-being.
“Oh, Ayda – is there no chance you guys can work it out? For the kids sake, at least?” Gary sincerely asks.
“It’s because of the kids I’m doing this, that sort of toxic environment – it’s not good for them to grow up like that….” She pauses, takes the phone away from her ear and pulls her free hand through her hair, she’s exhausted. “Please Gary, he NEEDS you! You know he does, you’re the one he truly listens to” she pleads once more, but as she listens to the pause on the other end she can still detect his hesitation. She knows why he’s hesitating so much, after all the ‘why’ is part of the reason why she left Robbie and her marriage behind in the first place, but this is no time for awkwardness, she’s in near despair of what to do with her ex-husband, and frankly she’s now beginning to get irritated by Gary’s reluctance to help. The Great Gary Barlow! He’s supposed to by Robbie’s Mate, his brother, his captain, his… “Gary – please do this for me, for fuck sake, this is all partly down to you anyway!!!” She immediately regrets saying that to him, but there is some truth in it, he can’t deny that but she also knows he’s always tried to do the best he can when it comes to Robbie.

It’s a complicated situation, and she and Gary have never really known how to handle it and what to do for the best, but they have both tried through the years, to above all keep Robbie happy. Gary for his part has always agonized over what is best for Robbie, whether even seeing him was a good idea, let alone working with him, staying with him, being in such close proximity with him for long stretches of time. Ayda knows Gary has tried his hardest over the years, to try and keep everyone happy and so she regrets her harsh words, he doesn’t deserve it but his ‘guilt and sense of responsibility’ is her last card to play right now.
“Ok, ok Ayda, I’ll go” he resignedly replies.
It’s worked! She lets out a long sigh of relief, “Sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded, I just know you can get through to him Gaz, reassure him we love him, and get him to accept the help that’s there for him. I know he’ll be ok if you’re there for him”.
“Always. Well, I’ll try.” He pauses after that for several moments, and Ayda begins to wonder if he’s still there, until – “Right love, I’m ready to head over there now, I’ll give you a call later to let you know how it all goes” he simply states and after swift goodbyes he puts the phone down.