F*ck, I Think I Love You - A KakaObi Story

1

Electricity in my hand. Rin's porcelain-white face. Her wide, terrified eyes. Blood leaking from her lips as she whispers my name.

"Ka-ka-shi..."

I jolt upright. My ears are filled with the sound of my Chidori and Rin's dying voice, my name echoing in the silence.

"Ka-ka-shi..."

Slowly, I raise my shaking hands and see her blood on them. I stagger towards the kitchen sink and turn on the faucet. The cold water runs over my blood soaked palms as I frantically scrub at them, almost scratching off the skin in my desperation.

The red, viscous liquid should've washed off ages ago. But when I dare to look, it's still there, brighter each night.

It never washes off, no matter what I do.

Ever since Minato-sensei put me in the ANBU, I've never had a good night's sleep. Even when I do snatch a few hours of sleep, I'm always interrupted by the same nightmare, over and over.

Now, the Sandaime has taken control of the village again since the Kyuubi's attack. Even after he withdrew me from the ANBU Black Ops after 10 years of service, the nightmare still haunts me.

My apartment is small, and usually that doesn't bother me. But tonight, it feels cramped, like the walls are closing in on me. I stumble back to my bed and collapse, my heart pounding.

I know Rin had to die, I could tell by the way she was acting. But to jump in front of my Chidori?

Now I'm cursed with these nightmares and burdened with knowing that I played a hand - literally - in Rin's death.

Rin, what were you thinking?

I close my eyes and sigh. There's no use trying to figure out her plan of actions. Besides, I'm going to visit the graveyard later today. It's no good bringing bad thoughts to her grave.

I try to squeeze in another hour or two of sleep, but to no avail. Just before dawn, I get dressed in the regular Jonin vest and leave.

The streets are generally quiet at this time since everyone is still asleep, save for the songbirds and the occasional cat. Hands in my pockets, I breathe in the early morning scent, everything around me at peace. At the graveyard, I tread carefully on the dewy grass, not wanting to disturb the souls resting here.

My first stop is my father's grave. I squat down, wiping off the accumulated dirt and grime.

"Hello, father," I say. "I hope you're doing well. I..." I hesitate, then continue. "I had another nightmare. I don't mean to worry you. In fact, I'm doing better now than I was in the ANBU." I pause, then add, "The Sandaime wants me to be a teacher. I personally don't think I'd be good at that, but maybe I can teach them a lesson or two on the importance of comrades."

I bow slightly, then head to Rin's grave. After the flowers kept disappearing each time I visited, I stopped bringing them. Well, that and the fact that the florist always asked when I would find a lifelong partner every time I walked into her shop.

I repeat the same process, cleaning her grave and giving her the latest news ("Did you know Asuma and Kurenai are officially together?"). After that, I bow again and start making my way to the last grave.

Yawning, I stop before a somewhat large monument, several names etched into the stone. I put my hands together and close my eyes, bowing my head as I thank all the brave souls for their courage and their sacrifice.

By this time, the sun has barely risen, a feeble thing on the east horizon. The surrounding trees cast long shadows, looming in my general direction.

I take another deep breath, the uneasiness of the much earlier morning dissipating. "Good morning, Obito. I hope you're doing well, wherever you are. Things here have changed so much. The Sandaime took me out of the ANBU because he wants me to be a teacher. Can you imagine me as a teacher? I know I'd never be as good as Minato-sensei, that's for sure. If anything, I feel like you'd make a far better teacher than I would."

Again, I hesitate. "Obito...I can never apologize enough for breaking our one promise. Your dying wish. I truly wish there was another way, some way to keep her alive. If I could do it over again, then I would." I sigh wearily. "I wish you and Rin could be here with me right now."

"Wrong. You're going to wish you never killed her."