A SMILE IN A WHISTLE

Chapter 53

"Where is it?" she panicked.

Sarah stepped out of the car and swung her restless gaze to her right and to her left. Sam's sailboat was nowhere in sight. Despite feeling her heart beat forcefully in her chest already, she ran onto the dock and checked both sides again. The port was calm and deserted – as usual – there was no way she could miss it. At seven o'clock, the sun had already given way to the moon. It was pitch-dark and only a couple of streetlights allowed her to get a closer look at the boats. She searched high and low for The Greg and Carole. Still nowhere to be found.

Sarah's hands trembled as she seized her mobile from her handbag. She dialled Sam's number right away and prayed that he would answer. He didn't. On her way back to her car, she tried again. What if Rebecca was right earlier on? What if he has already left? Sarah was begging God – or whoever the voice in her head was talking to – that Sam was still in town.

Sam's answerphone indicated he was not available. Sarah decided to leave the port and drive to his old apartment, where Josephine was still living. When she got there, she raced up the stairs and banged on the door. It took five more knocks before Sam's ex-fiancée finally opened it. Sarah was gasping for breath.

"Sam, has he left?" she asked without even saying hello.

"What are you on about?" Josephine asked her.

She had just prepared her meal and hoped to eat it while it was still hot.

"I went to the port just now; his sailboat is gone!" Sarah shouted.

"He wasn't meant to leave today. I'm pretty sure he's leaving tomorrow."

"Pretty sure or one hundred percent positive?!" she asked, frustrated.

"That's what he told me," Josephine said. "Wait a mo'."

Sarah stood in the doorway while Josephine took a quick bite of her beef and potatoes. Afterwards, she grabbed her phone.

"Maybe he's at Carl's," she mentioned with her mouth full.

She went through her contacts then put her phone to her ear. Sarah could hear it ring from where she was standing.

"My brother's not picking up... Have you tried, Sam?" Josephine asked her.

"Yes, but maybe you should call him, just in case..."

She did so. The loud ringtone was driving Sarah crazy. It was teasing her. She wished Sam would cease it by answering his bloody phone!

"Still nothing..." said Josephine. "Sorry, I can't do much more. Maybe he went for a quick sail to check the boat is working fine."

Sarah looked down at the floor and sighed with desperation. The voice in her head was still imploring him to be in town. She would forever hate herself if she had missed his departure.

"I'm going back to the port," she said, then disappeared in a flash.

"If I get hold of Carl or Sam, I will tell them you need to talk to him!" Josephine shouted down the staircase.

"Thank you!" Sarah shouted back.

The Greg and Carole's spot was still empty. Sarah hysterically dialled Sam's number once again. And this time, with the intention to leave a voice message. Sitting in her steamed-up car, her legs shook with fear. Only darkness surrounded her, as well as some lonely boats gently rocking from side to side in the breeze. Concurrently, drops of rain began to fall onto her windscreen.

When Sarah heard the beep, giving her the green light to speak into the microphone, she fell apart at the seams...

"Sam. It's me, Sarah. Please pick up... Please!"

Her voice was wobbly. Salty teardrops streamed down her face, warming her cheeks at first, but then leaving a cold, wet feeling on her skin.

"I hope I'm not too late. I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk."

There was a weepy silence as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her left hand.

"I want to come with you... if you still want me," she said, sniffling between words.

She took a moment to catch her breath.

"Please, don't leave me. Not again. I want to come with you. I want to be with you. I hate myself for doubting you, Sam..."

Every thought of him taking off without her made her cry even more. Eventually, she allowed her tears to flow freely down her face without interfering.

"Please..." she chocked.

Sarah could barely speak. All she wanted was to hear Sam's voice at the other end of the line.

"Please, pick up..."

Another sudden beep informed her that her voice message had come to its time limit. She curled her arms around the steering wheel and laid her head on them. A cry of pain burst out of her mouth. Why did I have to wait for the last moment to surprise Sam! Please Sam, call me back...

Sarah stayed put at the port for hours, hoping to see a boat come in. She cleared the misty windscreen with a little sponge multiple times. A flickering streetlight nearby made the whole place look spooky... Not only was she scared; she was also at the end of her rope.

At eleven o'clock, Sarah hesitantly returned to her flat. Back to the warmth. She found refuge in her bed, all the while keeping her mobile phone close to her. She glanced at her suitcase that was all packed and ready to go by the bedroom door, and at her yellow pillow that was resting on top of it. Big cardboard boxes filled the rest of the apartment, emphasizing its emptiness. Sarah lost hope... She wished Sam were the first person she had called on Saturday night, instead of Mrs Wears. She wished she had never doubted the man she loved. She wished she could tell him how she really felt about him. She wished he would call her back.

She spent the whole night wishing...