Jealousy is a pretty ugly emotion to feel but I personally feel it very often .
At times I'd be watching some romance movie or drama on the television either with my parents or alone, and some really cute scene pops up, like ,let's say a scene where person A lies on person B's lap ,or they simply cuddle in bed after a long ,tiring day.
Isn't that just soo cute?
Like, I'll be honest . I definitely am jealous of the people I see in movies.
I may say things like "nahh I'm not looking for a relationship right now" ," I don't need s/o" and all ,but even so I still feel my chest slightly aching while watching those scenes.
Oh how I wish I was like them. I'd think.
I don't like to admit that I get jealous of people ,that I like certain people and do kind of want to get into a relationship, but I decided to just admit it all here because well,why not?
And...liking your friend's crush, it sucks.
I know some people might say that I'm a bad friend for liking the person after finding out my friend likes them but , I'm sorry, I can't help it. But don't worry its more of just eye candy rather than actually trying to hit on them.
They may not be the easiest to communicate with but I think I like almost every aspect of them.
They're just... so cool and amazing.
Not sure if I want to be them or be with them though, haha.
I might just be jealous of how good they are at a certain sport , or instrument ,or the way they look , their height even (?)
ORRR,
It could be that I love all those aspects of them.
And I occasionally think of them in the future finding a s/o , thinking about how their s/o managed to change them or how they managed to "get" them while I couldn't. And honestly it just makes me sad.
Because , why couldn't it be me ??
Literally, pick me ,choose me ,LOVE me .
Its kinda funny though,, but please.
Jealousy really isn't nice :/ but I can't help it so ,what can I do other than accept it.
And maybe its because I grew up in a household where ,in my opinion, not much love was shown towards me.
Maybe that is why the slightest bit of validation can make me fall for them .
Despite knowing that it isn't good to be jealous of friends, I just can't stop it.
The worst part is that, day by day ,the tendency of me getting jealous of something just increases.
--im gonna stop here bc my train of thought suddenly like just stopped --
