Jealous of her

Chapter 1

 notes:

Hiiiiiiiii so this is my first story. I kinda don't know what I'm doing but I'm just making this because I wanted to try something new and because I love reading other people's stories. 

Thank you for anyone reading this, I hope yall enjoy reading this. It would be nice to get some feedback so that I can improve myself and become better with writing. 

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Imagine yourself helpless, alone, sad, and last but not least, living every single day like the rest. That's how I feel every single day most of the time and there is nothing I can do about it. I eat, stare off to anything in sight, maybe watch tv, write in my diary, sleep, then get ready to do the same routine the next day.

Being paralyzed isn't really that great when you're only 18 and could've had a whole life ahead of you.

But the worst part is when it tears your family apart like it did mine. ( or when it's your fault your family is torn apart and ruined because of a little mistake that had a way more bigger outcome). My parents used to be a happy married couple of 6 years. 

But I was never really close to my parents simply because I used to like being by myself, so I kind of isolated myself. Plus my parents were workaholics so they stayed out most of the time.

But now with my dad gone and it just being my mom and I, the house has been more quiet than it usually was when he was here. My dad left about 2 and a half years ago since my accident and we haven't seen him since. For the most part he's doing fine. 

More than fine actually, with his new wife and kid, he seems to be really happy with his life. 

Of course I would know that since he calls me once maybe every 6 months. To be honest I think he for the most part forgot about my mom and I. I think he only calls if he feels bad about himself or he forces himself to check up on us.

Him and his girlfriend Georgia, have a 6 month old baby who is my half sibling. Her name is Faith and I have never met her in my life.

Not that I care to anyways.

My parents used to argue a lot when it came to me. They would blame each other for my accident a lot so then the tension gets so intense and awkward that we never eat at dinner anymore.

  My parents' work kept them separated a lot and they wouldn't talk much when they got home.

 But when they were home the atmosphere would be so uncomfortable that my dad would sleep on the couch most days and they just simply didn't feel the same way about each other anymore.

 And so they got divorced.

I really wasn't that surprised when it happened considering how their relationship changed so drastically. Even Janice our neighbor, realized something was wrong with the both of them. 

We used to have a neighbor Janice,  who had a daughter named Celeste.

Celeste and her mom moved in next door to us when she was 7. I didn't recognize her at first but then I realized that we went to the same school. 

Celeste was my best friend when we were younger. I used to play with her all the time when I came home from school and we would go over each other's houses and stay up all night to play together. 

We would talk about our secret crushes while our moms were down stairs talking and having wine downstairs. 

I remember Celeste making fun of me for liking a guy in middle school who was at least 4 inches shorter than me and thought that he ruled the place only because he won a spelling bee.

That all ended four years ago when she took her own life.

I was devastated for a long time. I cried and cried until there were no more tears left to shed.

I never understood why she did it.

Her family said that she was sad a lot of times and that she kept a lot of things to herself most of the time. Celeste had the most contagious and obnoxious laugh that was impossible for me to tease her for.

I would give anything to hear that laugh one last time

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