Zeros ~ Lams

7: 11:59 PM

"Please, just give me five minutes at least," He pleads. "I have to explain."

"There's nothing to explain. We're soulmates, aren't we?" I say, brushing past him to go back inside. He shuts the screen door behind me and hurries to my side. "And we made a mistake." I continue to walk, but then realize that the dorm isn't very big and there's no place to really walk to, so I stop at my bed and sit down. He sits down on his, across from me, and it brings me back to that night. I shiver from the memory of that multidimensional infatuation.

"But, that's not what I meant. I want to tell you why I, uh, did the things I did. This is a hard thing for me to do, so please just listen." He continues. "And I wanted to say... I'm sorry." He groans and throws his hands up, which surprises me. "Oh god, why is this so hard!?" He grumbles to the floor. He looks up again, right into my confused eyes, and I want to cry just from the feeling I get.

"Ok, I'm just gonna get it done with. I knew you were my soulmate as soon as I saw you. I got that feeling in my chest telling me that it was only you, and I've... I've done a lot of research about soulmates. But Eliza and I were dating, and I didn't want to break up with her because I still liked her, so I tried to push you away. That's my first sorry. I'm sorry for being a total ass to you when you didn't deserve it." He takes a beat, and when I don't say anything, he continues.

"Although I was being an asshole, you just didn't really seem to get what I was trying to hint, and that made that feeling inside hurt even more because you were still being nice. And then, that night, I had a fight with Eliza, and I told her that we weren't actually soulmates. She didn't believe me. I was just so angry and sad and hurt because I still had feelings for her, but like, you're my soulmate! And I just, kinda, wanted to forget about it all? But that's the problem because you'd literally said you were dating someone. That's my second sorry. Because what I did was really, really wrong. I don't expect you to forgive me because I was an asshole, I'm not really too much of an asshole, at least not like that, but-

"Sorry." Alex finishes his speech. He rubs his eyes with his hands and looks outside at the darkness, no doubt waiting for a response.

I breathe slowly and look at my hands.

"I suppose I'm a little bit to blame, too, Alex. It can't be all your fault. I didn't stop you. So, this is my official apology. Sure, Francis hates my guts now, but-"

"Wait, Francis? As in Francis Kinloch? Were you dating Francis Kinloch!?" He says, his mouth hanging open. My eyebrows crinkle together as I study his agape expression.

"Uh, yeah, do you know him?" I ask, and Alex nods. I purse my lips together and think back to what Francis said.

Tell Alexander congratulations for me.

"He was my friend at Columbia, but we had a falling out. Then I moved here. If he finds out about this... he'll probably kill me." he says in all honesty. Well, Alexander might want to double up on security because Francis already knows!

I tilt my head. "He doesn't seem like the type."

"Francis hides a lot of things from the people he dates. Although he can be pretty nice, he does have a... darker side." Alex swallows hard and looks back to the floor, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. "I just... I'm really sorry, John. I am. I just want to start over, and maybe, be friends?" He looks at me with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes and I can feel my insides start to crumble. I can't help it, I can't control it. He's my soulmate for goodness' sake, how am I supposed to not have these involuntary feelings about him?

We've both done some bad things. That's a no-brainer. But he's got the balls to own up to it.

"I forgive you."