blue birthday - yang jungwon.

V. 4 MONTHS BEFORE THE ACCIDENT, 2021.

You open your eyes, and you find yourself sitting on a bus, your head resting on someone's shoulder.

So Youngeun was right. Burning the photos allowed you to travel back in time.

You turn to look at Jungwon - there's a peaceful expression on his face as he sleeps, headphones in his ears. "Hi," you murmur, and Jungwon stirs, squinting as he opens his eyes to adjust to the light.

"Hi, love."

The tip of your ears are burning at the nickname, and you can't help but smile. "Hi. You slept well?" you ask, and Jungwon nods.

"It's your birthday soon," he murmurs, and you chuckle. Your birthday is in four months, but you suppose that with all his planning, and how he's just woken up from his nap, he's a little dazed. "Four months, Wonie. It's in four months."

"That's soon! Four months fly by so quickly," he says, yawning, and you press your lips into a thin line.

Yes, you think. Four months do pass by quickly.

Because four months after this date, Jungwon passes away. The you in the past never knew about his impending death, and the current you wishes that every time you saw him, you just held onto him a little tighter. You wish you spent time with him more, you wish you kissed him more, and you wished you told him that you loved him more - because you didn't know that you'd lose it all, in just a millisecond.

You don't even realise that your eyes are welling up with tears until Jungwon wipes them away with the pad of his thumb.

"(Name), you okay?" he asks, his voice soft. You nod your head quickly, and he purses his lips - you can tell that he's worried. "I'm okay, Wonie. I was yawning, you know how... yawns are contagious." you lie, and Jungwon gives you a look that tells you that he's not buying it.

"You've been acting strange lately, (Name). You know you can tell me anything, right?" he laces his fingers with yours, giving your hand a tight squeeze.

You're going to die in 4 months because of a car crash, because we're going back to your apartment to celebrate my birthday, is what you'd tell him.

But you can't. You can't tell him that you're from the future, you can't tell him that you know that he's going to die soon, because one, you don't want to worry him, and two, you're not even sure if he's going to believe you or not. So you decide to act normal - as if nothing is wrong.

"I know. I'm okay, really." you assure him, and he nods. "I trust you. But if anything's wrong, tell me." Jungwon says. "I will," you mumble in response.

"I love you." he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You let out a small giggle, and Jungwon's heart races when he sees the smile on your lips that he so loves.

"I love you too, Wonie - oh! Speaking of my birthday, why don't we... change things up this year? We can go to the park with Maeumi or something." you suggest, and Jungwon pouts. "But I planned this big surprise thing," he says, and you raise an eyebrow.

"What surprise?" you question. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, wouldn't it?" he huffs, and you smile.

"Fine - did you spend money already?"

"No, I didn't. I'm supposed to buy it tomorrow, though." he responds. "Great! Cancel the order, and we can just... go somewhere to get a nice dinner, and then go back home to see Maeumi." you say, and Jungwon sighs.

"I wanted to do something special for your birthday, though." he says, and you cup his face with your hands.

"This is going to sound really fucking cheesy, but every day is special with you, Wonie. I don't need any birthday party, I don't need gifts - the best birthday would be with you by my side." you say, and Jungwon's eyes crinkle into crescents as he smiles.

It's the truth. All your birthdays have been shit ever since Jungwon passed. No matter how fancy the birthday parties your friends throw you, you've never been able to enjoy them. You feel bad, of course - but when the thought of Jungwon not being able to be there occupies your mind, you can't really find it in yourself to get in the mood to celebrate.

"Okay. I'll cancel the order," he says, and you beam. "That was really cheesy, though." he chuckles.

You pout. "Don't make fun of me - I was in the moment."

Jungwon lets out a melodic laugh, and you find the corners of your lips curving up at the sound of it. "Hey, I never said I didn't like it," he says. "It might've been cheesy, but it was cute. You're cute."

Your heart does a somersault, and you gather up the courage to press your lips to his. It's sudden, and it does catch Jungwon off guard, but he kisses you back. Warmth blooms across your chest - you've missed this. You've missed how his hand seems to perfectly fit in yours, you've missed the feeling of his lips on yours, and most importantly, you've missed him.

When you pull away, you gaze into Jungwon's eyes - it's as if they sparkle. There's a little smile that threatens to spread across his lips, and when you lightly pinch his cheek, he lets out a small chuckle, and it's like you're falling in love with him all over again.

"Cute," you murmur, and Jungwon's cheeks flush red.

You suddenly remember that this moment is just temporary. You'll be heading back to the present in no time, and Jungwon won't be coming with you. Unless, if Jungwon does keep his promise.

If there's no party, you and Jungwon won't be heading back to the apartment, which means there's going to be no car crash. It seems like a perfect plan.

"Promise me, no party this year. Please," you say, and Jungwon nods.

"Promise."

You hear the piercing noise in your ear once again, and you realise that you're returning to the present. You press a chaste kiss to his cheek, your vision starting to fade to black.

If Jungwon keeps his promise, hopefully, you'll be able to see him when you wake up.