My Dead Boyfriend

~Chapter Two~

"I checked his pulse. He was dead. I stood up and looked down. There he was. Dead. As in not alive. I started to cry. He wasn't just my boyfriend. He was my best friend.

I lay next to him. I remember James' favorite book and movie, Pollyanna. James and I used to play The Glad Game. I should play it know, I think, tears streaming down my face. I think of things to be glad about. I can't. He's dead. What's to be glad about? Nothing.

I hold him close and cry myself to sleep, shivering from my wet clothes.

I dreamt of the day James and I met. It was the first day of second grade. I was new in school. We were building gingerbread houses out of Graham crackers, and frosting. The teacher put us in pairs. James and I were picked to build a house. He built the house, and I decorated it. I was almost done, and James blurted out,

"You're beautiful."

"What did you say?" I replyed with a smile.

"I-uh meant to say, uh, your decorating skills are beautiful.""

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake to a child's voice, yelling, "Mom!!! There are two sleeping people over there!!"

Dead. He's dead. I sit up, the soil sticking to my still damp clothing. I accidentally touch James' hand, it's disturbingly cold.

I pick him up, him up, bridal style. I carry him over to my car, along the way, the kid who shouted before, asked,

"What's wrong with him?....Why are you crying?"

I answered, "This is my boyfriend...." I continued, my eyes hurt from crying so much. "He's dead."

The little boy said, his eyes wide, "I can go get my mom..."

"No, that's okay. I'm going to drive to the hospital to report his death." I said, sniffling and holding back more tears.

I think I'm going to throw up. I feel horrible. I start to feel lightheaded. I place James in the passenger seat, and I lower it back. I put the seat belt on, and I cover him with my car blanket.

I drive quickly to the hospital, almost getting into an accident, my tears blocking my vision. I can't explain how I feel. I just want to curl up in a hole and die.

I pull into the hospital parking lot, and I run in to the front desk. I tell the woman what happened, and she replies,

"Oh honey, you should of came here imediately! Oh, it's okay. We can't undo the past, can we."

"No, we can't." I said, harsher than I expected.

"Well, I'll go get the workers to carry him in, okay?"

"In where?"

"To the autopsy room, to be examined for any signs of foul play, and then to the morgue."

"Does he have to go?"

"Yes, he has to go to the autopsy room, and yes, he has to go the morgue if you want an open casket funeral."

"Oh, Okay then." I said, I cried more.

"I will also need your phone number, you'll have to be questioned later."

~~~~~~~~~

The woman came back, and told me I could go say good bye to James, and then I could go home. I said goodbye, and I left. I drove home, quietly, just feeling really sick and lightheaded.

I throw out everything in my house, except canned pineapple, a television, a dvd player, a landline phone, a Pollyanna book, Pollyanna dvd, a bed, my clothes, and things James gave me.

I get home, I'm starving, but I just drink water and eat pineapple, but I throw it all up again. I watch Pollyanna seven times in a row, crying the whole time.

"Funeral.....He's dead..." I said, growing more lightheaded by the minute.

Black out.

I wake up, I look out the window, outiside it's dark. I stand up and turn, heading for the kitchen, to get more canned pineapple. I am still crying. When will I get over this? He's just a boyfriend. Pretend he cheated on you and you broke up. No, that wouldn't work, I would forgive him.....

"Why are you crying?" Someone said. That someone, was James.