abditory | beomryu oneshots

Always

- sequel of '4th Anniversary'.

Ryujin walked along the street, her eyes blankly scanning the shops beside her. The cold night breeze hitting her which made her hair a slight mess but that's the last thing she cares about.

To be honest, she doesn't care about everything in her life anymore.

The once colourful girl has lost her colours. She, herself didn't know she could be so... colourless.

All because the loss of her beloved.

Her eyes dropped to the ground. She doesn't even know where she's going. The girl couldn't sleep and her mind just tells her to take a walk.

She sat on a bench, taking a break from the long walk. Ryujin buried her hands deep in the pockets of her coat. It's the month of December which means it's winter season. The girl knew the winter has always been cold but why does it feel extra cold today?

She sniffed, she's pretty sure her nose has gone red. Ryujin had always been sensitive to the cold. Everytime winter comes, a special someone would hug her from time to time to ensure she's feeling warm,

He would hold her hands to keep them warm.

He would wrap a scarf around her neck.

Nothing beats the warmth of him, no matter how many coats and scarfs she wears, she would still seek his warmth.

Ryujin paused her thoughts.

Ah. I'm thinking about you again..

She hates herself for not being able to move on about it. She knew the boy wouldn't be happy to see her dwell in sadness especially when it's because of him.

But at the same time, how can she? A precious soul has been taken away from her. She wonders, how can the people who known him already moved on happily with their life right now? Don't they feel a slight guilt even though his death was not their fault? Why is she the only one feeling like this?

She resented them. It's like they don't care about him. Ryujin knew it wasn't their fault but she couldn't help it.

She needed someone to put the blame on. It's pathetic she knows it.

She tried hard to bury a thought deep inside her mind where it couldn't float back up again easily. The thought of she was the cause of his death.

The thought of him committing suicide because of her.

It must be my fault that you left right?

Why am I blaming anybody else for your death but not myself?

She doesn't know why, but she couldn't forgive herself.

She tried to recall the memories with him, trying to find where she possibly did something wrong that drove him off.

But she couldn't find anything.

They were happy.

You always looked happy with me. There's always a big smile on your face when I see you.

You were bright.

Brighter than any source of light to me.

So why did you do it?

She momentarily closed her eyes.

I miss you.

She felt a tap on her shoulder which broke her out of her train of thoughts. She turned her head towards the owner of the hand which was on her shoulder.