David's p.ov
Walking down an empty street
Listening to the sound of your own footsteps.
Shutters closes
Blinds drawn
Doors locked
Thats the worst feeling ever.To feel left out like a useless piece of shit!.
Dejected,rejected,insulted.
Looks like these words were made only for me.Thats what i was.....
You think being a billionaire means you have everything in the world?.Wrong! So wrong!
I unhooked my tie which was suffocating me,reminding me of my fucked up life.
She got married.Lara,the love of my life.Just when i thought my life was coming together by loving Lara,i realized now,it was just starting to fall apart.I just wish i could roll back the clock to when things were the same,when i had her on my side ,my friends....
Now,pain is my only friend.It tells me when i am seriously injured,it keeps me awake and angry but the worst thing about it is it lets you know that you're alive.
Fucking.Alive
I snatched the Rolex watch from my pant's pocket and threw it away.It clattered on the floor.
Thats where the "riches" belongs to!
Why do all the shitty stories about billionaire portrays him as a playboy? A heartless prick!?
A billionaire also needs a father!
A loving mother!
A steady girlfriend who doesnt cheats behind his back!
Dont hold strong opinions about things you dont understand!
A hollw laugh escaped from my parched lips.Pain shot out in my heart.Even my heart hated me...
I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts too much to hold on anymore.Tired of living and scared of dying.
I feel tired...so much tired.
I dont want necessarily want to be happy,i just wanted to stop feeling miserable.Sometimes it hurts more to smile infront of everyone,then to cry all alone.
When i was a kid,i wanted to be remembered as the guy who could brighten up your day,even if he couldnt brighten his own...
I dont know what i want in life right now,all i know is that i am hurting so much inside that its eating me and one day there wont be any of me left.I just know that pain i felt so long ago,its hurting ten times worse.Its there to remind me i am still alive..still.
Did i pissed off the guy up there?
Did he loved to see my life fucking me?
I didnt asked to be a billionaire!
I didnt asked my Dad to leave his business to me!
I didnt asked for a whore of a mother!
I didnt asked for an empty life!
I know it seems like i am strong person who can get through anything but inside? I am weak.I've had so many things thrown at me and each one has only made a crack.What i am afraid of is
Shattering.
I know what its like to want to die,how it hurts to smile,how you try to fit in but you cant,how you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing thats inside.Death is God's way of saying "You're fired!".Sucide is human's way of saying "You cant fire me! I quit!".
I realized that way down inside i've always been lonely for something but i dont know what for.It seems the harder i try the harder i fall.Its funny the way you can get use to tears and the pain.What do you do when you become too scare to live,to die,to love,to even care?
Look at me! A 24 year old billionaire who is always silent..screaming inside.You may think you see who i really am,but you'll never know me.
I've come to the point where nothing matters anymore and things i used to care about arent worth fighting anymore.
I want to dig my fingernails underneath my skin and peel off the face everybody's so used to seeing me in!.
Everyone is asking me how i feel,how i am and truthfully? I feel numb.I cant feel anything and honestly i like it.
Suddenly i heard chattering of people.I looked around me,i didnt even notice i was at a train station.Couples were holding hand,a man was kissing a boy,probably his son...a smile curved on my face,i wish i had a dad like that.but no,my Dad beat the shit out of me because i spell "Dog" wrongly.I was only 5..
I sighed as darkness enveloped my heart again.
Why couldnt it just stop beating!
I saw the train approaching.People started to move,boarding the train.I watched as kisses and goodbyes were exchanged.
I laugh loudly.No one even glanced at me.Thats how much of an unimportant person i was!
Suddenly i realized they all were leaving me behind...
The only one left alone..
No! I didnt wanted to be left alone.I too boarded the train,without any idea where it was going,
I didnt care..
Why should i?
I just wanted to...die.I wish i waznt that much of a coward!.I hoped with all my heart that it stop beating!Stop reminding me of being alive!
Was i asking too much from God?
