Kyla Pov
"Is she really my child Kris?"
She kept looking at me with tears rolling down her cheeks. I haven't seen my mother since she burned down my apartment. I wasn't planning on visiting her in jail at all, I didn't want to see her face to how fed up I was with her. I sat in silence waiting for her to gather herself. I hand her a napkin, she tried touching my hand but I move it away from her. I clear my throat asking her.
"Do you have any memories of me conceiving a child when I was sixteen? Anything at all comes to mind?"
She just stare at me. Her mouth moving but nothing coming out. It was like watching a mime tryna escape a invisible box. As I sat up straight, she smile at me finally asking.
"Yes... I remember you conceiving a child at sixteen.... I remember you were a bit nervous and skeptical when you first found out you were pregnant...-"
She chuckle a little saying.
"You even kept it from me for a while... But once you were comfortable with the idea of becoming someone's mother... You couldn't wait to meet her. You were more in love with Belle than you were with Ray....!"
She pause as I sat there dumbfounded. I've basically rejected the idea of being Belle's mother until now. To hear my mother confirm this, paralyze me. Her face saddens as she continue saying.
"When I heard that Ray sign some papers to keep you or any family members of urs from Belle... I was beyond furious, that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to look at you anymore... To pretend like nothing happened, that you didn't get into a car accident, almost lost your child¦ but lost minor of your memories. I couldn't lie to you about something so.... devastating and sensitive! I even tried talking to you about Belle but it made no sense... It only made me look crazy to you! So I ran away! I couldn't do it"
My mind went blank.... I had a child with my ex-boyfriend... who I used to be madly in love with... out of hatred, he took her away from me for 8years ... What kind of sick world do I really live in? As I'm gathering myself up to leave, my cell vibrated. I then look to see who it was... unknown number... I'm not the type to answer block numbers but I needed something to clear my mind from this insanity.
"Hello?"
"Nay... you need to get down here immediately! It's Greg!"
"Greg? Why you calling me from a block number? What's up?"
" I'm calling from your man's phone! He's on his fourth white Russian. He also had 2 bottles of Tequila and a bottle of Hennessy. His calm now but Jen said he was harassing her for more after declining his request!"
Why the fuck is Keith drinking so much, then block my number. He hadn't drink like this since his mother past... What's going on now? I sigh frustratingly saying.
"Ok Greg, I'll be there in the next 30 minutes. Keep his crazy ass in a room... Lock him in there if you have to... Just don't let him out of ya sight! Please Greg?"
"I gotchu sis... His a hot mess... I tried to get him to talk but it's like talking to wall. His a total wreck!"
"Alright... I'll be there soon! Thanks again Greg!"
"No prob... See you soon!"
Once we got off the phone. I got up and said to my... Kris.
"Thanks for the info mo- Kris!"
"Is everything ok Kyla? Please... just talk to me... I'm still your mother!"
WHAT? Did I hear that? Did she really say that she's still my mother? All the hate I had for her since I was ten came rushing back like a ton of bricks. I couldn't help but snap at her.
"That's an understatement! You haven't been a mother to me for 13years! "
"OK yes. Yes ima horrible parent. I won't get the world's best mother award. I fucked up! I've fucked up... But I'm trying here Kyla. I've missed half of your life and I reject everything I've ever done to you and your brother but mostly to you! You needed a mother and I wasn't around to nurture you the way a mother should. I was... I was caught up in something that took awhile for me to drag myself out of. I want my family back. I want my kids to see me, See that I'm trying, and that I want to be better... Ky I'm asking you please, please just give me a chance. I want to have a relationship with you and my granddaughter... Please give me a chance! I'm begging you!"
I just froze. I've been dying to hear those words from I was a kid. A kid that had to take on responsibilities fast and maturity fast. I wanted my mother, I needed my mother. I never got raped or molested but to not have a mother or a father in my life, had me looking for love and exception in the wrong places. That ten year old girl weep inside. As I wipe the tears roll from her cheeks, I sigh softly saying.
"just give me sometime. I can't right now... I'll come back next Monday or Tuesday with Belle... OK?"
"OK honey... I understand and I'm looking forward to it!"
She extend her arms for a hug. I hesitated at first, if that little girl in me didn't exist I wouldn't even be here trying to close the gap between her and I. I walk over by her side and hug her softly. She was surprise yet happy that I've put my shield down. After hugging her, I left handing to Greg's bar. Already overwhelmed, I'm going to deal with Keith drunk ass. all I'm thinking as I hit the highway is what the fuck caused him to run at Greg's. The last time Keith ever drink like that was when his mom died about a year ago. He was drunk everyday, he was unconscious once that I swear I lost him. So for him to be drinking again only means some shit went down.
As I approached the bar. I park my car in the parking lot. I then got a text from Carrissa.
Cici: Where you at?
Me: I'll hit you back soon!
After sending that text. I turn the engine off, got my purse and head inside the bar. As I approached the counter Greg met me , kissing my cheek, he then cup my face saying.
"Baby girl, you look like shit!"
I grin a little saying.
"I feel like shit!"
"I told you to slow it down. Quit a job , relax yourself. Overworking ya self like this will only put you in the hospital! So take my advice and chill out!"
"I'll try bro, can't promise you anything you . Anyway, where is hammer time?"
"In my little room in the back. I have to say, he drank a lot but haven't barf yet!"
"Yea... I have a feeling his saving that for me!"
We laugh as he took to where he captured Keith. I walk inside and he didn't even acknowledge my presence. So I sat next to him, try to touch him as he move scorning me. I didn't let it bother much, I sigh softly resting my purse on my lap.
"Sooo. Are you gonna tell me what's going on? Or do I have to drag it out of you?" I ask calmly
There was complete silence for 5minutes. I sat there watching him rub his knuckles and the veins popping in and out from his neck. As I was getting ready to leave, he finally says.
"You still love him?"
"Still love who? Who are you talking about here?"
His angry grew more as he ask furiously.
"So you're gonna sit hurr and act like you didn't ran off to see ya ex nigga?"
"Ran off?"
"YO!"
I sat back as he got up huffing and puffing. I haven't seen him this upset since I said no to his proposal. He finally calm himself down saying.
"When were you going to tell me, that you went to see Ray? When was I, the man you sleep next to every night, the man who fucks you! The man whose been there with you through it all! When the fuck were you gonna tell me that you went to Ray's house HUH?"
"First of-"
"It's bad enough I had to hear it from my boys. But to hear it from ray? How the fuck you think that makes me feel? To hear that he had MY woman in his house... Doing who knows what! Why Kyla? WHY? Why the fuck were you there?" He cut me off asking angrily.
I waited to see if he was finish. I dislike being interrupt, especially when your throwing bullshit my way. He was fixated on me now
"Wait, you have ya boys following me now? Why? Your that insecure, that you have people following my every move?" I clear my throat asking curiously.
He was so in his feelings that he ignored my question saying.
"So you a hoe now? You thoting Now? Word?"
"If your not gonna listen to what I have to say... You can kiss and lick the inside of my ass!"
That's when he roll up on me raising his hand. I never fared men then and I dam sure won't start now. So I got up in his face saying demanding.
"Do it. Hit me bitch... Cause that's what we're about now! Yes bastard, that's who we are! Hit me!"
He was shock that he even raise his hand at me. He put his hand down and back up away from me. I kept looking at him. He had forgiveness in his eyes, but it was for something else. I've seen that look before, yearning for sympathy, wanting a second chance. I went up to him grab his chin asking what I already know.
"Did you fuck her?"
I watch as tears roll down his cheek. He pull me into his arms holding me tight. Rage took over my body, I couldn't believe it. He cheated on me. The only girl he'd ever cheated on me with is Mya. His grip tighten as he says pleading.
"I am so sorry baby... I'm extremely sorry. I feel like shit, I don't know who I am anymore... I just-"
"Sooo.... The only way you'd been able to find yaself... Is between ya ex legs? That's your excuse? That you fucked ya ex girlfriend to find yaself?"
"No... No... I made a mistake. It was a stupid mistake!"
I finally free myself from his grip. Back away asking.
"So all this rage you have for me or throwing at me is because you fucked ya ex? When? When did you find time to FUCK her?"
"It's not important... I mess up, I got weak. I allowed my insecurities to take over. I was... I was lonesome... I feel lonesome!"
A tear roll down my check. I wipe it away immediately. I made a promise to myself, to never cry over a man and for a tear to drop, I wanted to hang myself. I then fold my arm asking.
"Was she worth it? Was she worth jeopardizing our relationship? Was she?"
"I swear I'll do anything to make this up to you. I don't want to lose you... I can't... I fucking ca-"
"No, you actually can!!! You did! You couldn't keep it in your pants long enough to confide in the woman you claim to love. The same FUCKING woman you propose to a week ago... But you found time to confide in your first love? The girl who broke your heart? You cheated on the girl who brought you back from hell with the person that sent you there? Does that make any sense?" I cut him off replying piss off.
He tried to talk but was lost for words. I grab my things.
"If you didn't love me anymore, you could of been a man about it! Go fuck yourself Keith!" I said harshly leaving waiting looking at him. I couldn't bare seeing his face or looking into the eyes that once made me feel like the only girl in the world, I couldn't stomach him anymore so I had to leave.
Greg tried to stop me to find out what happen. But I was in my feelings and rather be left alone. Once I reach inside the car, I lock all doors, sat back crying my eyes out. 6years of me loving him unconditionally, making him apart of my life which wasn't easy. Having our ups and downs, and the minute I stop giving him pussy, he ran off to get it else where. And his only excuses to that was because he felt lonesome?
The old Kyla would of drive to his house, pull a left eye, burn his dam house dowm. Then go to his bitch house, chop her up then throw her body in the ocean. I wanted revenge, I wanted him to feel everything that I'm feeling at this moment. But two wrongs don't make a right... And now that Belle is really my child, what kind of a example would I be? My conscious wasn't with it, said fuck that and go loco. People should seriously be happy that I've changed!
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