Altered. [Harry Styles]

00.

Jo Pierce.

August 18th, 2018.

The transparency of my veil was much more honest than I would ever be. The sheer lace was a window into the vulnerability of my undeniable love and devotion for Harry, but in this very moment, I found myself more fixated on the time than the ceremony that was about to begin.

The crystalline details of my dress presses against my back, finally making me feel something other than the nerves that followed the fear of letting down the person I love most.  My eyes are forward, though everything in me is urging me to take a peek around the wall I was pressed against. Maybe if I saw him dressed to the nines in a perfectly tailored suit, I wouldn't change my mind.

I inhale slowly, enjoying the serene moments of silence that were leading up to our final conversation before our vows. The silence was peaceful, the lulling sound of repetitive wedding tunes out of earshot for the first time in over an hour. Isolated down a long hallway inside the venue, the cold brick cool the heat rushing down the back of my neck. The false lashes weigh down my eyelids, fluttering my eyes shut. My curled ponytail is compromised against the brick, but there is a greater worry resting on my shoulders.

The quietness of being alone was refreshing, a feeling I wouldn't have any trouble adjusting to. I couldn't vow to love and protect the person I was keeping a secret from, because if I did, I knew I would lose myself to the guilt. I could never look in those pretty green eyes and tell him I love him without crossing my fingers. In the midst of my internal conflict, I finally felt content with the pathway I was preparing to take myself down -- one filled with brutal honesty and the repercussions of my actions.

And then I hear his footsteps nearing closer and closer as my sweet taste of silence dwindles away.

"Jo?" The nerves in Harry's voice were prominent, but I could also pick out the excitement in his tone. His suit ruffles against the wall as his feet bolt to the ground, keeping him in place. I can tell he wanted to sneak a peek to see if I was here yet, but his moral compass wouldn't allow it.

"I'm right here, H." There's comfort in knowing my best friend is right around the corner after not seeing each other for the past twenty-four hours, but a guilty knot twists in the pit of my stomach as I held my hand out, blindly reaching out for him around the corner.

We decided against doing first looks of each other in our wedding attire because we want the authenticity of our excitement to fuel the ceremony. Seeing each other for the first time just minutes before we sealed our fate added something for us to anticipate instead of fixating on the anxiety of standing in front of hundreds of people.

"Oh, how I've missed you." His hand intertwines with mine, his lips tickling the back of my hand. His rich cologne warms my senses, familiarizing me with the feeling of homeliness. "I can already tell you look beautiful." His blind compliment makes my heartbeat flutter, and I almost second guess the decision I'm about to make.

Maybe the stress of the wedding is getting to me. Maybe I'm looking at things with an obstructed view and my assumptions won't mimic reality. I can't throw away a good thing because the fear of the unknown has me hitting the breaks.

"And I know you look handsome." I return the compliment, blushing redness flustering underneath the artificial blush on my cheeks. "Are you ready for this?" I ask to gauge where his mindset was, almost hoping his answer would be as uncertain as mine.

"Ready to spend forever with you?" He cups his other hand over the tops of mine in a protective hold. "Sounds like I'm entering the best kind of hell." A soft chuckle warms my heart, his laughter being my favorite melody.