That day we met at the pub

I can't bear it any longer...

He then walked out of the café. Before he was out of sight I saw him looking back one more time. I definitely missed him a lot. I wanted him to come back but I know he wouldn't... I ended our relationship, why would he want me back after that? I wished everything that happend was just a dream, but it wasn't. This was for the best, even if it hurt.

_

Hours passed, time kept ticking. It had been one and a half week since new year's eve. I passed the days working and going to bed as soon as I got home. I also hadn't streamed since since our Chirstmas stream, and neither did he. 

All this time I had been feeling so depressed that I spent my days either at work or in bed. I couldn't do anything besides laying down and feeling depressed. I forgot taking care of myself, taking care of Snow and my streaming career. George was taking care of Snow all this time. I really appreciate it, I'm sorry everyone I let down...

_

I laid down in my bed, I had just gotten home from work, Snow was laying beside me. I decided to check Twitter since I hadn't looked at it for a long time. Wow I was trending again... It seemed people were worried about me. Because of that I decided to post a Tweet saying:

Hey everyone! Thank you for your concern but I'm fine! >.< Just be concerned about your own health okay? Make sure to take good care of yourselves! 
Also sorry for not streaming all this time. I have a stream planned for this evening so make sure to take a look! <3

I looked in the mirror, I couldn't show myself to people like this... My hair was all tangled up and I just looked horrible. How was I going to fix this..? I didn't even feel good enough to eat or drink, let alone make myself look presentable. 

After a couple minutes deciding what to do, a notification distracted me from my thoughts. He was streaming right now... I decided to get on my alt account and take a look. I missed him so much.

I noticed he looked a bit off on stream. I'm worried about him... This is all my fault. After another couple of minutes watching his stream, George knocked on the door and walked in. In panic I quickly shut my laptop but the sound kept going. Shit. After a couple more seconds the sound stopped, indicating my laptop was now turned off. 

It seemed he wanted to say something, but he didn't. After a couple awkward seconds he spoke up. "I heard you were going to stream this evening? You need some help setting everything up?" "Thank you, that would be very helpful" I weakly smiled at him. "Why don't you take a refreshing shower while I set it up, does that sound okay to you?" He gently asked me. "I will do that then, thank you very much. I really appreciate it"

George pov:

Y/n had really changed since the day she came here. She would immediately go to her room after work, she started eating less, and she started looking like a mess. Her hair is all tangled, she looks really pale and she became a lot skinnier. I'm really worried and always make sure to bring dinner to her room. I always put it on her desk, only to find it uneaten the next morning. 

Since I saw the Tweet y/n posted a couple minutes ago, I decided to ask her if I should help her set everything up. I know it would be hard for her to do herself as she can hardly even get out of bed. 

I knocked on her door and walked into her room. She quickly shut her laptop but I could hear that she was watching Wilbur's stream. It looked like she was panicking a bit, I wanted to ask her why she was watching Wilbur, she probably missed him. In the end I didn't ask her. It just didn't  seem the right moment for it. 

_

Y/n pov: 

I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I put the clean clothes, towel and my brush down next to the sink. I filled the bath with warm water and put in a rose scented bathbomb. I undressed and sat in a towel on the edge of the bath, waiting until it was fully filled. A nice scent emerged from the water. It was really relaxing to take a bath again. 

I gently sat down and felt the warm water touch my skin, it felt very nice. It was really relaxing, I heard the sound of the water as I tapped it with my fingers. Although that didn't stop my thoughts from ruining it. 

I felt guilt. He's miserable because of me, and I am miserable because of myself. I'm a terrible person, I don't deserve love. Tears formed and I started sobbing quietly. I tugged my knees to myself and put my head on top. I just want to be away from everything for a second. Away from my thoughts, my feelings, everything. I know I did the right thing, but why does it hurt the both of us so much? I want to see him. Feel his arms around me again. Hear his beautiful voice. 

How in the world was I going to stream in this state. I felt like shit and I still looked like shit. 

_

I had gotten out of the bath, drained the water, untangled my hair, got dressed and did some make-up so I wouldn't look like a zombie. It was a lot of work but we did. Before I was going to start my stream I decided to get an apple and a bottle of water. I wasn't very hungry but I know I needed to eat something since I started losing a lot of weight. 

I made sure to thank George before I sat down in my chair to start the stream. I took a bite out of my apple and drank some water before starting it. 

"Hello chat, long time no see" I smiled as much as I could at the moment. "I planned on doing some sining and playing guitar for todays stream, and maybe we could play some minecraft after?" 

I looked at the chat and saw that most people were happy I was back. Some were a little worried since I didn't look very okay. I decided that I had to try even harder to convince these people. 

Half and an hour later of streaming and chatting with the vieuwers, I decided to end it since I was getting exhausted. 

I turned off my PC and laid down in bed again. George had brought me some dinner and I managed to eat a couple of bites. It was a very exhausting day. I missed Wilbur so much. It felt like all this time that I was away from him, my feeling only got stronger and stronger for him. I couldn't bear it anymore. 

I jumped out of bed, got dressed in some comfortable loose clothing and ran downstairs. It seemed that George was calling someone but I couldn't figure out who. In a hurry I asked him "Can I please borrow your car? I'll make sure to be careful!" "Yea, ofcourse but where are you going this late?" He said, still on the phone with the mysterious caller. "I'm going to Wilbur's house" I said as I stormed off outside, in a hurry. 

"It's better you stay home, she's coming your way right now"