Overcoming It All

unleashed

I sat on my bed criss cross style, my hair was in my face and my arms just limp rags on my lap. It was dark in my room. I didn't like to open the curtains because it just made me feel more confined with my windows barred up like a jail cell. I sat in black sweats and a baggy sweater over a tank top. They didn't let me have jeans until level two. They also took the glass out of the picture frames i had brought, they had pictures of Mom, Grammy, and I, but now they just sat empty. I din't want to see my mom, probably never again. They didn't knock either just came in, of course they only sent female nurses though in case i was changing.

The nurse from the first day came in now. She brought a tray with a food and a few pills in  a small plastic cup. They made me take medication, anti-depressants, vitamins, just stuff to calm me. They made me feel sick for the first week or two i refused to take them. I would thrash and scream and kick and claw, but they force fed them to me. Now i just gave up, the nurse would give me the plastic cup and a bottle of grape juice. My arms moved zombie-like to reach for them and swallow them. The nurse placed the tray of food on my lap and waited for me to look up at her, I did.

"Skylar, how long have you been here?"

"Uh..." I bet i looked like a zombie too "Three weeks, Maybe a month"

"Congratulations you have successfully reached level two"

"Really?"

"Yes but remember we take you back down to level one just as easy as we promote you, If you would like, I can show you around and you can meet the other kids if you would like."

"can i shower first?"

"Of course I'll lay out your clothes"

"Thank you nurse..uh"

"Savannah"

"Savannah" i repeated. We walked across the hall to a shower room. It had stall with toilets and a big sink. On one side were shower stalls. All the girls got to use them but in my month of being here i had seen maybe a handful of girls and because we all came here with chaperons, i never talked to any of them but today i would get to meet others. Undressing in front of the nurse was uncomfortable at first but you have to get used to it if you want to shower. I  wriggled out of my sweats letting them fall to floor with my panties following behind. I lifted my shirt above my head and it fell to the floor to leaving my scar uncovered.it was paler than my skin and slightly raised. i like running my fingers along it. I longed to re-open it. To let it pour out again. But i couldn't, not here

The hot water felt great on my skin and in my hair.I let the steam float around the room until the water turned cold. I wrapped my self up in a towel. The nurse had brought my clothes and i dressed in the bathroom. I wore another pair of black sweats and a longsleeve blue T-shirt.  I brushed my hair and swept it up in to a loose pony-tail.

The nurse, Savannah who kept sending me mixed messages, led me down a winding hallway with stunningly white walls and brutally sterile tile floors. Before long i could hear the murmur of voices, lots actually and it made me wonder how many people were actually here. Savannah stopped and directed me to a room with maybe twenty kids all around my age. Some doing puzzles, some reading, most watching T.V., and even a few were playing board games together. I wanted to jump up and down and scream. I could finally interact, I was unleashed finally, finally i could be a kid again. Looking through the door at all these people reminded me of a little kid looking through the window of a candy store. I looked around the room, I saw blonds, brunettes, blue eyes, green eyes, and him.