Littler things

I'll love the littler things

Matt loves Foggy. He has loved Foggy since college, since the time Foggy calmed him down in the middle of the night because everything was just too loud and Matt needed some grounding, since the day they left Landman and Zack together, since the day they opened their own law firm, since forever. Matt loves the way Foggy treats him as an equal, loves the way he smells, loves the way Foggy's arm is always up when they walk just in case Matt wants to hold on, which he usually does.

Matt loves Foggy despite everything in his upbringing telling him not to. But Foggy...Foggy doesn't love Matt. At least not in the way Matt loves Foggy. How could he? Matt was bad for Foggy. He constantly left Foggy alone to run around in the streets at night.  And of course, Foggy wouldn't want to deal with Matts's baggage. Ok- he does deal with it most times anyway but that doesn't mean he should have to or wants to. Sometimes Matt just lets things about his not-so-great past slip and Foggy is just a good enough friend that he doesn't tell Matt to stop.

Matt learns to love Foggy quietly. He learns to love the little things he gets from Foggy in big ways. He memorizes Foggy's coffee order and the way Foggy's heartbeat sounds when he talks about the things he loves so that later, in the night, Matt can tap out the beat of Foggy's "happy heartbeat" onto his leg to put him to sleep.

But none of that matters now because Foggy loves- or at least likes -Karen. Foggy is going to ask Karen out on Valentine's day and Matt is sure of it. Why else would they share glances every time the upcoming weekend is brought up? Why would their heartbeats speed up? Matts is glad they at least don't say anything about it, they try to be considerate and quiet about it. It's not their fault that they don't know Matt can practically smell the excitement flowing from them over the fact that they get to be alone together this weekend. It's fine.
    "Matty? Did you get that?" Foggy asks in that sweet voice that was the reason Matt fell for him in the first place.
    "What? Sorry I was...um"
    "Thinking of your hot date for tomorrow? C'monnn Matty I bet you've got all the ladies begging to be your valentine!" Foggy says and while he sounds sincere, theres something strange about the way he says it that Matt can barely sense under the surface. Weird
    "Um, no- sorry. What were you saying though before we got... side tracked?"
    "Me and Foggy were just saying maybe we should close the office tomorrow?" Karen interjects. " I know its not a big holiday but me and Foggy both have plans, right Fog?" and- ok. Karens a great girl and probably didn't know that 'Fog' was Matts nickname for Foggy and no one elses but it still made Matts skin unreasonably hot. But Matt was tired, lonesome and jealous and so:
    "Yeah, sure. That's fine. I've got to go meet with that private client I was telling Foggy about now, see you guys monday. Lock the door on your way out." Matt said as he stood up. He adjusted his glasses, grabbed his cane and left the office before Karen or Foggy could stop him.

That night, Matt partoled the streets of Hell's Kitchen with just a bit more irritation than normal. He definitely hit harder than he needed to but it wasn't his fault, really. Everything was just... loud and frustrating. He was reckless that night and when he finally crawled back into his dim lit apartment he mentally slapped himself because now he'd have to find an excuse for Foggy and Karen as to why he was so beat up yet again.

The next morning Matt woke up to the sound of his neighbor two floors down dropping a pot on their tile floor with a loud 'BANG' so... not the best start to his already bad Valentine's day. He groaned and rolled off his couch, all the injuries from last night aching with more intensity now due to the lack of adrenaline. Matt was yet again tired, lonesome and, when he remembered that Foggy and Karen had "plans" tonght, jealous. In addition to all that, he had a headache.

After Matt sulked on his couch for a while and shoved down all his blue black feelings about having to spend another Valentines day without the one person he wanted to be with, he put on his best white button-down and headed out. Mattwasn't sure where to go, he never really went many places without Foggy that weren't drug cartels or abandonded warehouses used for human trafficking. After some contemplation, he decided on the coffee shop that Foggy was always raving about and occasionally smelled like.