Just A Few Bumps - Chapter One

Chapter One

I started writing this book when I was fresh out of University, filled with the thoughts of where my new and exciting career would take me. What would I see? Who would I help? Will I actually save anyone's life? Writing this book was fun – an escape for me. Little did I know that writing this book would help me through depression, PTSD – and to top it all off – coming back to work, after being signed off for my mental health, I was greeted with a global pandemic. Otherwise known as Covid-19.
I had an idea of what I wanted this book to be – a journal of the emotions I felt throughout my journey to becoming a paramedic and the few years following my qualification. I didn't want to impress people with my academic knowledge or fit in as many big words as I could; I just wanted to describe the highs and low, and the realities of being a paramedic.
Everyone is different and everyone faces different challenges. I want to talk about the scary jobs, the sad jobs, the happy ones and the downright annoying ones. Every day is different in this line of work and it is a privilege to experience them. If I had realised all those years ago that I was going to actually write this book (and not just toy with the idea of doing it) I would have endless notes and scribbles about all the weird and wonderful things I have seen and done. However, I have my memories – and let's be honest, the weird and wonderful moments are usually the hardest ones to forget.
So, welcome on this trip down memory lane! Of course, to protect the identity of my patients and colleagues, names and ages have been changed. But the patients are real and so are the emotions – both theirs and mine.

THE MOMENT I KNEW

The first time I thought about writing this book was during my first year as a student paramedic. I had just finished a job (a stabbing) in central London, which had nearly taken the life of a young man trying to leave a club. I walked out of the hospital and lit a cigarette, looked down at the blood that was covering my uniform and thought to myself, there and then, in a moment in time that will stay with me: I should write this down. This idea was left at that and I continued with my life. When the idea started to really become a reality was after my first shift as a qualified paramedic. My first ever job, my first ever patient. He was dying, choking, lungs full of fluid. I was alone with the patient in the back of the truck (ambulance) and prayed every second he was with me that I could keep him alive that little bit longer. I drove home and thought to myself, I need my memories to be out on paper, they cannot just be lost to my mind and memory. That night I went home and started typing.

NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS

So, as you may have gathered, I am a paramedic. I spent three years training at University, and have been qualified and out on the road for roughly two years. When I was in first year, I remember being completely in the dark about what my placements would entail and what would be expected of me. I searched the internet for tales and stories from other students as to what it was like, to no avail.
To say I was a novice would be an understatement. I didn't come from a medical background and, quite frankly, I would never in my wildest dreams have thought that this was to be my future career when I was younger.
Five years on and I am still a novice! There are still many times when I think I don't know what I am doing, and I question myself regularly as to why I dived head-first into such a stressful job. Sometimes I bloody hate my job, but I bloody love it all the same; I want to share the reasons why.
Many people watch 999: What's Your Emergency? and the hit show Ambulance. Don't get me wrong - they're both entertaining to watch. However, there are many aspects to the job that don't get shown in these programs. Having watched shows like this, the first question anyone will ask when they find out I am a paramedic will be: 'What is the worst thing you have seen?'
Every time I am asked this, I take a few seconds to answer, because really, what do they want to hear? Is it the bloody trauma? The mangled bodies? The elderly lady dying alone with no family? A dying child? I mean, it is not going to be the greatest icebreaker no matter what answer I give, but what do people really want to hear?
This is a question that I still don't know how to answer. So instead of trying, why don't I talk firstly about something I do know, which is how I got into a paramedic degree with no medical background at all, while watching TV with a cuppa in my hand.