Dear Peggy

A lovely letter for my lost love

Dear Peggy,
I wish I would have been brave enough to tell you how I’m feeling when you were around.
Even before you got your new strength and muscles, my heart went crazy when you entered a room. I think I would never had gotten the nerves to tell you this.
At the day where we drove to the laboratory together I told you that you are the first woman who has ever talked to me for so long.
The british accent of yours put me under a spell that never left since then. I was so scared that I could say something stupid while you can hear me, that I said a lot more dumb things.
Bucky warned me that my behavior infront of women was terrible but I thought he was exaggerating but since then I have known that he was right.
The day you flew to Berlin and saved all those soldiers I knew that you would kick their Asses with ease and not because oft he serum.
I just believed in you.
But I was also scared as hell that you could get hurt. The moment you came back with this Hydra guy in handcuffs and without any scratch I was so relieved.
I think Dr. Erskine would be happy if he had seen you like that and the fact that you are the super soldier he and Howard have created would make him even prouder.
We are all going crazy because of your loss. Howard hadn’t slept or left the labratory since your not with us anymore. Sometimes when he thinks nobody is near, mostly at night, we can hear him cry.
Bucky wasn’t hit as badly as Howard and me but it is not that easy for him too. Most of the time we are together that I don’t freak out. Mostly I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes I only see you. You with those giant, horrible tentacles around your body. I can’t move myself or help you. The only thing I can do is watching you getting pulled into it.
Last night it was different.
You were also there but not like the dreams before. There was a small yellow house with a red roof. And in the front yard were tiny white flowers and a swing. When I opened the door and went inside I could see you in a blue dress with a little girl on your arm. I know that sounds weird but you looked so happy in this situation.
It turned out that the girls name was Sarah like my mother and that she was our daughter. I think I was bigger than normal in that dream because I didn’t need to stand on tiptoe for looking you in the eyes. Bucky and your parents came around for lunch and we were all so happy that it was a cruel when I woke up this morning. It felt more wrong than ever that you are not there.
After that unhappy awakening I made my way into the lab and saw Howard very hopefully reading some notes. He told me that there is maybe a way to get you out of the tesseract. I hope he's right because we need you back here Peggy.
We won't stop working on it until your here.
 
Missing you most painfully
Steve Rodgers