Enjoy the Silence

Enjoy the Rich Life

                All thoughts were erased from my mind as I saw the Caplin mansion. The only thing I could do as I got out of the car was gape. The manor was like a palace; the ultimate American dream sitting on a neatly trimmed lawn and surrounded by an iron gate. Just looking at it made my eyes grow to the size of dinner plates. I could only imagine how brilliant it would be on the inside. My over imaginative brain pictured it like Snow White’s castle. I thought of fine furniture decorating each room so that it was fit for royalty and servants moving around to keep the house in pristine order.

                As we neared the gate, I could see just how right my assumptions were. Even in the wee hours of the night, the mansion glowed with light. I watched people moving around as the lights illuminated the inviting décor. There was so much movement going on through the windows that each person’s silhouette was practically a blur. I let my mind make up my own fantasy as I watched them move.

                I thought of his family sitting in a dining room and eating meals that I’d only seen through the glass windows of restaurants. Maybe they had dishes like lasagna frita and minestrone that I’ve only had the luxury of tasting in my dreams. Maybe one of them prepares the meals themselves and serves it for the whole family to try. And I can imagine he or she gets it right on the first try considering their culinary skills are welded from several expensive cooking classes.

I struggled to see myself living with them. That perfect image of the ideal family didn’t include me in it, especially as a well-adjusted maid.  Then again, that would be assuming that Danny wanted me here as a maid. Although he promised to reveal his intentions, I still have no knowledge of them. All I can assume is that I was an acceptable exchange due to the fact that I could be put for one use or another. If he has me pay off my father’s debt through labor, that could be one option. Or if he gave me a job that required brains, perhaps that could be another. And if he did do such a thing, it wouldn’t be so bad.

I wasn’t a dunce in school. I maintained a pretty high grade point average and took a few AP classes for college credit. College was a big dream of mine; it gave me hope through each and every day. Once I begged the school to give me a free graduation robe and got my diploma, I was excited to go to university. I spent all those years with my father surviving each day so that I could apply to a good school and build my life away from him.

But my father thought about all of that before I could. The day after graduation he made me reject all my college acceptances and forced me to stay home. He beat me for even thinking about college and isolated me from the rest of the world. School was no longer an excuse to leave the house, so I was forced to be in that hell hole all day. He would go out and work at several minimum wage jobs to keep up our pathetic abode while I sat in the house alone. The time I had was my own personal alone time but I hated every second of it.

There was no one to talk to and nothing but powdery white walls to stare at. I missed the grass, cars, trees, and sunlight. I felt myself go insane being in the same rooms over and over and not even having a window to look out of. Sometimes I walked outside and enjoyed the fresh air. I even began making a habit out of it until my father caught me. He came home early one afternoon and found me returning from the forest. I was given a terrible beating and to make it worse, he made sure the neighbors were aware that I was not allowed outside. If they saw me, they were to tell him immediately.

It sickened me to even think about the way my life is. Having to grow up with an abusive father and little resources to have a good education. I bet Caplin and his family members never had to go a day without a meal and could easily learn something in the comfort of their own home. I guess that would add to the long list of things that differentiated me from them.