The reality of things is nothing is perfect, it is that no matter how hard you work at something it will never be good enough. This is the story of my life, no matter how hard I try to make myself good enough for others it is never enough. I have recently come to the realisation that it does not matter what others think of me but what I think of myself. My name is Charlotte and this is how I come to not giving a shit.
................................................................................................................The last day of half term.
Hundreds of over excited teenagers flowed through the school gates desperate to claim their week of freedom. My Bestfriend Morgan waited for me outside, just as excited as the rest of the students. Normal people say 'hello' when greeting someone, not Morgan she is straight to the point. "We need to go to McDonald's with Jack Wilson and Ryan Williamson."
I only recalled one of the names she had mentioned. Jack Wilson. He was one of those stereotypical bad boys you hear about from other schools but never stumble upon. He was one of those boys who you'd want to meet but not at the same time, in fear of making yourself look stupid. Morgan and I had just moved to our new school at the beginning of the term so we didn't know many people and to be told that I needed to go out that night with two boys I had never met, one of which was known through out my home town scared me a little. Well actually a lot. I had to just go along and see where it lead and try my hardest to not make myself out to be an idiot.
We met the boys and I couldn't help but stare. Jack Wilson you sexy motherfucker. My next thought was that he would never go for a shy, unpopular girl like me so just stop before you fuck things up. His black, messy curls lay untamed upon his face, he was tall and I liked that because I wasn't the shortest of girls and his tight, washed out jeans made me weak. Then he smiled and that was it, I wanted him. I had to have him.
This incredibly popular boy standing before me had the most amazing, cheeky grin etched upon his, when meeting me. I was a nobody, why would he smile at me? I'd even felt privileged to be in the presence of him, never mind falling for him as soon as he opened his mouth but he didn't want me. Nobody ever does.
