After the End: Book 3

59. Fixating on the Problem

Naomis POV

Louis rules were simple and easy enough to follow if I just stepped back and ignored how annoying it was. My son lived upstairs. I wasn't to bring him downstairs, not even if Harry was gone for the entire weekend. I had to ask to be upstairs with him. I was essentially at Louis beck and call for babysitting.

I had a lot of mixed feelings about all of that and yet I couldn't find a valid argument to complain. Louis was right. I was a flaky mum. I was flighty and uncommitted and difficult to work with. His need for order and consistency and control all felt very valid.

Still, as I sat with Oliver in his room, settling him to sleep for the night, or at least until Louis came to retrieve him after I left, I felt very small. I didn't feel significant in Oliver's life and I knew it was my own fault. I was spending time every day with him and putting him to sleep every night, but Louis was right. I was missing parts of his life. I was distancing myself.

I watched the toddler close his eyes with a bit of quiet rest. His light hair slumped into his face and his spider man pajamas rumpled where he laid. He looked so peaceful. Sleeping softened his features out, but he still looked so much like Louis. I hardly saw myself in him at all, except for his light hair.

I walked my way out of the room and found Daisy wandering back towards the bedroom from the bathroom. She paused to give me a half smile before disappearing into her bedroom. I hadn't seen much of Phoebe at all, especially not since Monday when Louis dragged her to therapy. She was processing something. Louis said he'd start to be worried if the silence lasted much longer, but as she was willing to speak to Daisy, he was holding out some.

I found Louis in the living room smiling down at his phone. Becca had been present when he first returned from Harry's flat, but she seemed to have taken her leave in my absence. She seemed to be around a lot. Significantly more than she had been previously before I'd left. Louis told me it wasn't my business. It just made me want to know more.

He looked up at me as I walked in and rose, stuffing his phone away. "He's down?" He inquired.

"He is," I said. I tried to muster a positive smile to match his. "We had a good day today. He built a block tower and let it stay standing for a full five minutes before destroying it that time. I think that's like a record."

Louis laughed in agreement. He inquired something about diapers and I asked if he'd read the book I gave him. He was only about halfway through it. Our discussions had been feeling very mundane. When we found ourselves in silence, I crossed to the elevator and reached for the button to recall it.

"You'll have to take the stairs," Louis informed me with a sad smirk. "He locked it again. I watched him do it as the doors closed on me."

"What did you do to deserve that?" I inquired. I tried not to be annoyed. Harry and I had been tense since he'd manipulated me. I wasn't holding a grudge, but Louis told me to have some boundaries and as long as Harry's attitude remained sour, I couldn't justify being the compliant and quiet friend he wanted.

"He didn't get his form signed at the support group today. I have it on good authority that he shared, but I didn't really care about the form. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. He doesn't like when I ask how he's doing right now because the answer is shitty and he doesn't want to admit that."

Louis shoulders slumped a little bit for just a moment before he sighed and composed himself.

"I'll check on him if he's willing to talk," I said unhelpfully.

Louis let a small sad smile play on his face for my benefit. "I've got teens to go upset with the same questions," he informed me. He started in the direction of the hallway. "I love being everyone compassionate villain."