After the End: Book 3

16. The Darkness

This chapter feels mad long, sorry lol
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Louis POV

Was I supposed to be happy or angry? I genuinely couldn't tell. I had already chosen to take my firing with grace and dignity. Being fired didn't feel good, but I knew it wouldn't be the end of my life; just a part of it. A shitty part, but I still had Oliver and the girls and maybe Harry... if he ever planned on pulling it together. I'd have more time for Oliver. I was trying to convince myself that I'd be okay.

Then I'd pled my case, Melvin had stared at me for a long moment, and then asked Becca to excuse us and I knew I was done for. He asked me again, what I wanted to be and I found myself fumbling. I didn't know. I'd wanted to be a songwriter and then I'd stopped writing for long periods of time when I found myself entrenched in depression and grief. I'd wanted to be a performer until I found myself busy with becoming the guardian to two teenagers and wrestling reoccurring single parenthood. How could I commit to traveling to preform when I couldn't even predict if and when Naomi planned on bailing? Then I'd wanted to try producing and managing, but my talent had left for ten months and I'd found him battling detox and a psych hold. I didn't know what I wanted, except crying. Crying seemed nice. I hadn't cried in a while and it seemed like it might help.

Melvin had started what seemed to be the sentence that would put the nail in my coffin when Harry opened the door and seemingly without much effort or forethought, had decided to lie through his teeth. I'd found myself caught off guard, shocked and at a loss for words before Melvin had completely changed his tune and walked out believing that we were somehow going to finish an album within the summer.

Harry, who had told me two days prior he planned to escape my house, relapse and disappear again had just agreed to make an album. As I stared at him with Becca at my side cowering on the floor in the wake of Melvin mentioning the dead love of his life, I didn't believe a word he said.

"Is he okay?" Becca asked me quietly.

Harry rubbed his eyes and looked up again. His eyes were wide but his face was otherwise stoic. He bit his bottom lip so hard that I thought it would bleed, then clenched his fists and looked at me pointedly.

"She yelled at me," he said in the same tone Daisy and Phoebe would use when telling on each other.

I looked at Becca with raised eyebrows. "You yelled at him?"

"I raised my voice," she said defensively.

"She made me do it," Harry added airily.

"I did not!" Becca defended. "You just walked out of the room! I didn't think you were going to come up here and start throwing out promises!"

"I was just trying to keep him from getting fired!" Harry shot back rising from the floor. He seemed a little wobbly on his feet and I wondered just what his mind looked like at the moment. He was used to talking out of his ass when necessary, but he rarely made huge promises. "You and everyone else kept telling me it was my fault? What was I supposed to do?"

"Harry, he's going to expect you to uphold the whole agreement," Becca said calmly. "That means damage control for the past 10 months and promotions and some performing and—"

"Please stop," he cut her off. "Please don't add anything else to the list of things I'm currently panicking about."

I stepped between them, giving Becca a knowing look. I turned back to Harry stiffly. He looked positively afraid of himself. He hadn't thought this through at all and I could see that, but he had definitely just made it my problem.

"Harry," I said gently. I tried to keep as much composure in my voice as possible. "You heard him. I have to make a schedule tonight for this shit now and I need to know that this schedule isn't going to get me fired. Look at me," I grabbed his shoulders and watched his eyes drift off from his shuddering hands. "I need to know that you're not planning on disappearing again. Please, tell me that you aren't going to disappear."