Honey

4

I haven't left my room for the past 3 days. All I've done is cry and sleep, I haven't showered, I haven't eaten, I haven't tried to resolve this issue because everyone is painting me to be the villain. My parents come back today at noon and I'm sure they're aware of the situation because it's been broadcasted all over every single tea Instagram page.

Ayrton has had everyone here for the past two days girls and all. I've had my door locked and my ears closed, I can't remember the last time I heard sound that wasn't music coming through my earphones. I think when I take them out I will be deaf, or at least everything will sound different.

I've watched the days turn to nights and the nights turn to days. My bedroom door opens and my mum stands in the frame, she immediately walks in and locks the door behind her. She slides into bed beside me and takes out my earphones, the first time hearing real sound for three days. She pushes my hair behind my ear and then presses me against her chest.

"What happened?" She whispers and I close my eyes tightly.

"I was just trying to make a new friend and it backfired" I tell her and she nods understanding.

"Sometimes girls are nasty Beau, sometimes they only see what they want to see which is usually black and white" she tells me running her fingers through my hair.

"They're making me out to be a villain, I like Ruel but I don't think I like him the way everyone thinks I do" I tell her wiping my tears.

"I'm going to give you one piece of advice from myself to you personally, if they make you a villain be the villain" she tells me and I look at her.

"What?" I sniffle and she smiles.

"I'm only what you make me,
And you make me a villain
So a villain I will be
But I'm more than the things they make me" is all she says and I know what she's talking about.

"You wrote that when you were my age?" I ask and I'm not sure why.

"You're almost 19 Beau, you gotta stop running from your problems and become the problem" she tells me and I laugh through my tears.

"Your dads doing a barbecue, come down when your ready. Lilith and Timothée are here and Kade is flying out with Josh in a few days" she smiles getting up from my bed.

"Okay" I nod wiping away my tears.

So that's what I do, I shower clean myself up and I head down to spend time with my family.

And boy did they have some news.

I sit in the garden with Ayrton, Lilith and Timothée. Apparently well not apparently it's definite that Lilith is pregnant, PREGNANT. What even is that? I was wondering why everyone wasn't freaking out but then I realised it's because she's an actual adult. She has a job her and Timmy are financially stable, so it's been inevitable.

"What's been up with you anyway kid?" Timothée asks me and Ayrton glares in my direction.

If I'd have known any better I'd say that he was taking this more personally that I was. I feel like I should apologise but I remember what my mum said, I smile to Timothée and he smiles back.

"I've been okay, I'm still figuring out what I want to do with myself" I tell him and he chuckles.

"You should go into writing like mum" Lilith suggests.

"I prefer to read rather than write" I tell her and she smiles.

"What about you?" Timmy asks Ayrton and he looks bored.

"I'm just trying to enjoy summer you know and then I'm going to study business at uni for a few years" he explains and I feel a wave anxiety hit me.

"You are?" I ask nervously.

"Yeah, I made my mind a up a few days ago. I'm going to Sydney still but I'm gonna look for apartments in the city" he explains and I think Lilith senses my anxiety, she gives me a reassuring smile.

"You'll find what you like Beau, I promise" Lil reassures me and I smile.

We all spend some time together and then later on in the night Ayrton and I take a walk down to the beach. It's awkward at first but I know that I need to get some shit off my chest, he can't blame me for something that isn't my fault.

"Ayr" I sigh and he rolls his eyes.

"Look, I know you hate me but I don't like Ruel how you think I like him. You know me I couldn't care any less about boys, yeah he is a nice guy and yeah I like him. But I would never ever try to get with him regardless wether I knew he was dating Sunday or not. You seriously think that I could be with him when he's famous?" I breathe deeply once I'm finished and he turns to face me.

"I'm not mad at you for fuck sake!" He yells at me angrily and I laugh at him.

"It doesn't seem like it" I scoff before walking away from him.

"Beau Ruel likes you" he tells me and I freeze.

"What?" I ask spinning round.

"Don't ask me how I know, I just do I've known him for 2 years I've watched him fall in and out of love with Sunday and now you" he runs his hands through his head frustratedly.

"So why aren't you mad at him?" I ask him quietly.

"Because it was easier to be mad at you" he tells me and he looks at his feet.

"Fuck off Ayrton, seriously. That's pathetic and I'm not saying that as your sister I'm saying it as your friend" and I mean what I said.

At this moment in time I can't even look at Ayrton for the sheer fact that he knew it wasn't my fault, yet he blamed me and took out his anger on me for three days.