The Cycle (One Shot)

The CYCLE

Diary no. 78, page 127

January 17, 2000

Have you ever wondered where our souls lead to after we die?

Do you believe in reincarnation, the cycle of rebirth until we reach that point of freedom?

What if you already died before and was born again to find the missing piece of your path?

What if you’re already on that path but suddenly lost track because someone changed it for you?

I’m Aiden, a traveler.

I was born in 1651, and was a soldier back then. A brainless warrior who forgot to bring his gun in the war because of panic, the very reason why he was defenseless and got shot in the head.

I thought I died, or maybe I did. I don’t know. All I knew was, I woke up in an unfamiliar rocky chair in an unfamiliar place where white flaky thing called snow is falling in the streets. 

The shocking fact that was said to me by a nurse who took care of me at that time was that, it was 1711, twenty-seventh of December and my name John, became Daniel McQary, and everything just happened again, and again, and again until I became bored of my unending business.

From Daniel, I became Lucas. From Lucas, I became Xavier. Akito. Pawat. Conrado. Angelo. Now, I’m Aiden.

With this unending life, I was able to travel to different places, been to different cities and witnessed tragic deaths.

I first died on the fourth of April 1674, but unfortunately, still surviving ‘till the first month of 2000.

I don’t know if Science can deal with my condition. I was a retired chemist on my second rebirth, but I achieved nothing until my body deteriorated and died eventually. 

I became a detective, but even detective skills can’t provide precise answers to my queries.

I became a soldier again, born to just die after the war. I never even got to search for any cure on this one.

I just keep on dying, and I’m afraid it’ll be like that forever.

I went looking for answers. Google was invented way late so I invest my time on books, encyclopedias, and sorts of journals just to understand what’s happening. Not until that moment did I go to a country where I found the answer to my problem. 

A monk told me that only when I started making myself better and doing all sorts of humane acts, I would free myself from this curse.

And so, here I am doing everything to break free and achieve that state of freedom. But no one said it’s going to be easy. At first I thought it was easy as pie, like giving to the needy or going to church to pray. I was tested numerous times, failed hundreds of times and woke up on a new day after a horrible death yesterday.

Being good is not easy, but since I badly want to break this curse so much, I never gave up.

But who knows that in this new life I have right now, I will be subject to another test... again. However, it will never be about achieving what I want anymore. It would be more appropriate to say that it’s a battle between my goal and my heart’s desire.

A girl in a floral dress and thick glasses suddenly threw herself at me in the middle of the hallway.

She wore a very conservative dress, and first glance you would think she’s a lost sheep. She smiled awkwardly and stood to face me.

Fortunately, she became my classmate in one of my classes. I never wanted to deal with her at first. She was a victim of bullying and watching her from afar being abused by my other classmates almost made me lose control.

My first attempt to save her was a bail. She stopped me and would just say that she’s fine. She smiles at everyone including me while she suffers the treatment everybody is giving her. When all my anger burst out, I ended up beating up the guy who made fun of her.

That time I realized that if I die, I would only go through another cycle of rebirth, but I didn’t mind at all.

I dragged her out from that room and I was subjected to suspension. Her tears while apologizing at me were endless. For me, it was nothing compared to what she went through. I would beat all the men out there who would try to hurt this lady in front of me.

I fell in love to make the story short.

When I’m always facing trouble, she was the one who would treat my bruises and mend me mentally. I saw her as an angel sent to cure me, and I suddenly forgot my first objective in this lifetime.

For the first time in my life, I chose to forget the freedom I always wanted. Turns out, I’ve been directing myself to the wrong path. The real achievement and contentment is right in front of me, wearing her biggest smile while taking a sip of coffee.

She became my wife, my Consuelo.

She is the most beautiful scene I ever glanced at in my entire life. If only I could keep her with me forever, but I know, nothing lasts that long.

“Consuelo.” I tried to call her using my remaining energy but I think she couldn’t hear me. 

We’ve been hit by a truck, both of us are inside our own car driving safely on a rainy day.

I gained consciousness but can’t move. The car flipped and glass was scattered everywhere.

My wife... I can’t see her. I tried to move even though it aches a lot. I saw her beside me, still awake but almost drained. 

I know she’s hurt. The evidence of blood on her head is enough proof.

I tried to reach her hands, and succeeded. I held it firmly. She’s cold and shaking.

Her gaze slowly went at me, and when I saw her smile, even though she’s turning weak, I felt somehow comforted.

The first time I feared eternal death.

Diary no. 81, page 28

February 14, 2021

That’s the last time I saw her smile. I thought she’d survive, but turns out we were fated to die together. Both of us held hands until our last breath. The only unacceptable thing for me was, I couldn’t join her in her afterlife journey, because once I opened my eyes again, it will always be another unfamiliar place and I became a new person again. There will be no more Consuelo who wakes up beside me. It’s just me and this unending journey.

-Rome