Words Not Said

3

It all felt nice. But I felt quite uncomfortable when she started walking around in just a towel, not too long after she excused herself to go do some chores.

        I told her that Papa was going to be home soon and that I needed to go. But she insisted I finished the food first. Mama, she watched me eat.

     She walked up to the door and locked it.

   ‘Miss Janet please, I want to go home’ I said with shaky voice.

But then she came to me and forced me to lay with her.

     She didn't care that I was in excruciating pain, she had her way with me severally before she let me go.

     Mama I felt so sad, broken, betrayed, exposed and dirty like never before.

      I cried home in the middle of the night, barely making it home in one piece as tears blurred my vision.

     All I wanted was to see you Mama, to be held and cradled into a deep sleep like the way it used to be when I was younger, and wake up to see that this had just been a terrible night mare.

       As I walked in, I saw you, cleaning up the pieces of broken glass most likely from Papa’s latest episode.
   
       I knew my fantasies would have to wait, as there were too many shattered pieces of you and I, and my heart broke one last time as I saw the tear drop slowly escape from your eyes.
 

       And you didn’t even bother to wipe it away like you did the other times.

       This time you let it flow, you let yourself cry in front of me for the first time.

      And then you looked at me, standing at the door with my feet glued to the floor.

      I couldn't stop myself from staring at you, tears streaming down my face.

we were having a little mental conversation.

     You shook your head, and then walked away with blood dripping from your hands, holding firmly onto the broken glass.

     That night I cried. I cried like never before, I cried for hours until I fell into a deep sleep filled with flashes from Miss Janet’s degrading and violent activities.