Dear Zayn

letter no. 9

Dear Zayn,

Hi again.

I'm embarrassed. I knew what I wrote in letter 6 was so uncalled for. And I apologise. I know that whatever decision you make, you do it with everyone else's best interest in mind. Or maybe I don't know, I'm just assuming.

I shouldn't have said what I said. It was rude of me to judge your decision. I wouldn't want to be like those people who make up excuses for whatever wrong they said, but I guess I was just scared. Whatever happened that year with 'Mr. X', I shouldn't have taken it seriously. It's a joke. A ruse to freak everyone out.

I was easy to freak out, and used that moment of fear to question your decisions.

And I didn't mean to, I swear. And I'm not going to ever again.

It's been 2 years since my last letter. I'm turning 17 this year. I'd like to say I am more mature than I've been in my last letter...

The last letter was shit too. "I'm in love with you"? What was I thinking? Especially since I've never had a proper conversation with you, and I never will.

See what I mean by mature?

(not in love) love,

- A