𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑠.

16

song playing- (pick me up) euphoria by james blake [ft. labrinth] [from "euphoria" an hbo original series]

the beautiful thing about the ocean was that it had no gender. it was just there, both masculine and feminine and beautiful. it's accepting. never judgmental of scars or bruises, because it understands that those are what makes someone unique and beautiful.

the ocean is strong and powerful, a home to many. it had serene brutality, was mysteriously tranquil.

but the ocean is also too strong to be restrained. there was never emotion to read from, but too much emotion at the same time. anger and sadensss, betrayal and fear, freedom and strength, vulnerability and hope. nothing controlled it, told it what to do. it was its own being.

olivia didn't swim, but she didn't sink. she lay there, the only thing peaking through the dark blue water being her face. she stared up into the sun, the light shining down and highlighting her.

there were no clothes on her, and her hair was free. the water wasn't cold, wasn't warm. just her and the ocean, both being pulled by the moon and raised by the tide.

"i love you."

she glided along the alignments of the surface, her heart being stirred, mind being cleared, and soul having eternal hope and joy. there was no noise; just the sound of the waves rippling, unable to crash on shore; there was none.

there was no yesterday, and there will be no tomorrow. there were no seconds that had passed, just one big moment at the end of everything. and as the sun kissed olivia's face, she blinked. her chest rose and fell, going in and out of the surface. silver glitter was visible on her sparkling skin, the golden sun admiring it and engulfing the rest of liv's naked body that started to float.

you will always float before you sink. even when it seems like all your doing is sinking, there will always be a time when you were at the surface of the water that controlled you.

"i love you."

olivia jackson's mind wandered, and she remembered something from when she was little. she was visiting the bahamas with her mother and father, and it was the first time she had gone swimming in the sea. her parents were nervous about her body being pulled out too far to the tide, but she wasn't.

"i love you."

if anything, she would be greatful of that happening. because even young, she knew her life was everything and nothing at the same time. she knew she was ruined. she knew she wouldn't survive.

and so she went too far out. she tried to fight it, and her father had to run out through the waves,  fully clothed, fighting the tide that tried to take his daughter away from him. she fought and he fought, and olivia was saved.

she wouldn't fight anymore.

"i love you."

she thought about everything. biking to fezco's when she was younger. her eating disorder. being friends with me. meeting jayson. getting into fights with her parents. saying i love you. having sex for the first time. feeling lost and feeling borrowed. her parents leaving her.

there was everything, and then there was nothing.

olivia's eyes closed. her skin stopped glowing and her body completely dipped under the water, her face sinking as well. slowly but surely, her body had disappeared into the sea.

and the only noise that filled the room was the faucet running.

i love you, olivia jackson.

"derek. derek, i'm pregnant."

i've always been with you

"you have a beautiful, healthy baby girl."

from before you were born

"momma! da-da!"

"i'm building you a gym, okay? you and me are going to work out every week, livie. it'll be fun!"

"wear something tight."

"go upstairs, call your boyfriend, and get ready for dinner.

"i don't think we should be fucking around no more."

"i like, love you."

"once we leave..we don't want to keep in contact with you."

"please don't leave me here."

"you're lucky i love you, bennett."

"my dead fucking brother!"

"thanks."

until after you're gone.