Matter of Desire || Oneus Xion

The Way Women Think (22)

Yuri's PoV

My stepfather isn't home, I guessed that this could happen, but it doesn't really matter. I'll get that rose one way or the other. It's odd how I remembered it would bloom around this time since it's been such a long time I bothered thinking about anything related to this household. But I guess desperate times require desperate measures. I can take a few jabs from Kang Yoonah if it means I get to make Xion happy even if just for a second. I don't know how I'm supposed to find him after getting the flower but I'll figure that out as I go.

A cold hand touches my arm and I turn abruptly. I blink for a few seconds, trying to decipher what I'm seeing. Is this a game my imagination is playing on my brain? "Yuri what are you doing here? You know that maid went to call your mom right?" "Yes... I-I" I stammer. I reach my hand to touch his face, it's real.

He looks tired, or sick, or maybe both but he's here. I realize until this moment I had no idea how much I had missed him. His presence crushes into me like waves to a shore. And I struggle to form some coherent sentence "I wanted to get something from the garden. For you, but I didn't really think I would find you. I really hoped I would, but, how did you even find me?" Xion shakes his head, "Let's go, I know you don't want to be here." And like the way I have so many times these past months, I follow his lead. It is the most natural thing in the world.

Xion's PoV

I drive to her house. She showers me with questions on the way. As if nothing happened. As if it doesn't matter I keep breaking her heart. "Where were you? Why did you not let me know that you were gonna leave? Are you tired? How's your health? How did you find me?" I let her get it out of her system, driving silently. Only after I kill the engine do I start talking.

"I went to Japan. Obvious reasons. I am tired. No comment. Just luck I guess. Why were you there? What were you gonna get from the garden?" She fiddles with her hands before answering "I was going to get you the rose again. I think it blooms around this time. Ravn and I were in your building and when the doorman said you were there but left, I thought you were leaving for good. So I might have panicked a little. I had to somehow show you that I still want to be by your side. As a friend or more, whatever you'd let me be."

It's hard to believe I can ever be deserving of a love like hers. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. She is the same perfect woman I left a few weeks ago. How must I look? Ridden with illness, tired from my sleepless nights...

I can't even look her in the eyes "How can you love me so much? It doesn't make any sense... Do you even know what a twisted man I am inside? How can you forgive me so easily..? When I can't forgive myself for the man I am?"

She takes one of my hands in hers and places the other on my cheek to make me look at her. "I am still angry at you." she smiles, looking at her feels surreal "But that doesn't change my love for you. And no imperfection could. Life is twisted, and maybe so are you... I am twisted too, it's what makes us human. If there was something or somebody that was without fault, without any flaws, something so completely perfect... Everybody would love it. So then it wouldn't be love, it would be just being. I love you because of your flaws, not despite them..."

A tear rolls down my cheek, my words come out as a whisper "I hated you, you know. For forgetting me... I was jealous of the attention you gave Leedo, and before that to Seoho. You were my first true friend. You were a lifeline at the darkest moments of my life... Then you were gone but your memory was never gone. I think- I wanted you to suffer the way I did, I wanted to be the center of your world. I wanted revenge... I hated you yet I still wanted you to love me.

That's the kind of man I am. So please don't let me break you into pieces over and over again. Please don't let me hurt you. Because if you keep looking at me and holding my hand, I won't be able to leave. I'll keep wanting more and more from you, the more you give."

She leans over and her lips touch mine. When she pulls away there's a tear glistening on her cheek as well but her smile is even wider.

"That just about suits me, because I want to do what makes you happy.

I thought you had countless experiences under your belt and that you'd know the way women think by now but apparently not. You're finally being honest to me, and honest to yourself... Do you think that would ever be a red flag? No offense but you were a minefield from the beginning. I knew what I was getting into by letting my heart fall for you. This is the most open you've been to me and that's a quality women like in men, in case you didn't know.

Oh, and before I forget, now you'll have to kiss me back at some point. According to the strict eye for an eye policy we have."

She opens the passenger door and hops out of the car. She pokes her head through before she leaves "Pick me up at 10 tomorrow morning. And don't even think of disappearing again. I'll kill you when I find you if you ditch me again!" she shuts the door and skips her way to her building.

I sit silently in the car. Trying to untangle what just happened.