Pieces of Me

Chapter 5

Riley

I parked after a quiet ride home and looked at Spencer, who had been staring out the window. He looked back at me, and a strange energy filled the car when our eyes met. It was the same energy that had sizzled between us this morning in the kitchen, when I was a breath away from letting him kiss me.

My heart beat faster and I gripped the gear lever to keep from reaching for him.

"Thank you for taking me there," Spencer said. His voice sounded breathless, and that feeling of energy between us heightened.

"No problem." Should I say something about his aunt, I wondered? Apologize again? Or just comment on it in some way? Would it be insensitive to ask what he thought of meeting her? All of this had to be so overwhelming for him, and there was so much he still had to learn.

I decided against saying anything about Mary Jane. He'd see her again later, anyway, at the family reunion she was even now arranging. I could check in on how he was feeling about it then.

Spencer smiled awkwardly at me, and I thought I understood what was going on in his mind. We were both leaning in toward each other like we were going to kiss (when had that happened?), but he couldn't be the one to close that distance, no matter what the atmosphere was like and no matter my body language. Not after I shut him down this morning. If I wanted to get closer to him, it would be on me.

Too bad I knew better.

I didn't like keeping secrets. I especially didn't like opening myself up to intimacy with someone if I didn't feel like I could bare everything to them. And there were things I just couldn't say to Spencer.

I gave him an awkward smile and got out of the car. After just a few seconds, Spencer followed and we went into the house without another word.

"Thanks again," Spencer said, and disappeared up the stairs. I waited until I heard his door open and shut before following him up.

I knocked on Anna's door and waited a few seconds for a response that never came. She was probably exhausted, but just to be sure nothing was wrong, I cracked open her door and peeked inside. She was tucked into her bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin and her hair spread out on her pillow like a starburst. I was still not used to seeing it like this, kinky and voluminous in its natural state instead of sleeked and straightened or braided like her mother's. But I liked it. It matched her personality more this way and it somehow made her eyes look prettier.

I stepped into the room and quietly shut the door behind myself, then settled into the armchair by the window to scroll through my phone and wait for Anna to wake up. My time might be better spent elsewhere, but I was still scared from everything she was going through. So was she. It was better to stick together.

I tried to concentrate enough to play some word games on my phone, but I couldn't stop thinking about that breakfast this morning. How could I have been stupid enough to take Spencer to Petey's when his aunt would be there? The one who obviously had no idea who he was or that Randall even had a son? He deserved to meet his family, but not like that.

Anna rolled and shifted, groaning in her sleep. She kicked her legs, and kicked them again. She rolled, and then her eyes opened. Anna had a lot of trouble sleeping ever since she started dialysis, so she was always tired. She seemed to realize she was awake and aggravation filled her expression before she caught sight of me.

"Riley," she sighed, sitting up.

"Hey, Annie." I offered her a small smile – the most I could muster – and she returned it.

"Where were you? I saw your car was gone when we got home."

"I took Spencer to Petey's." I didn't say more. I didn't have to. Anna's eyes widened with horror.