Into the dreaming

Ch. 3: Answers

The first thing I became aware of as I regained consciousness was that everything was exactly the same, yet something felt different. Something felt off, somehow I felt...altered. My body felt heavy as if I'd just run a marathon. The scar that had appeared on my wrist burned and my body seemed to buzz with energy. As my awareness pushed outwards I noticed my dad. I watched as he wrung his hands together as he paced the perimeter of the room muttering under his breath, As I continued my inspection of the room searching for the source of the unease I was feeling. My eyes landed on him, the man from my dreams. He looked exactly the same for the most part tiger eyes, tan skin, and an easy smile. Unlike in my dream his tattoos did not move nor did they appear to be under his skin. Beautiful solid black and red lines in a tribal design decorated his arms. He looked dangerous but somehow maintained a welcoming aura. I felt drawn to him. He must have felt me watching because at that moment the corner of his lip pulled up into a smirk and he winked.

The events of the last several days came crashing on me. I'd come to the conclusion that  either my life was a lie or I was clinically insane. That letter had not offered any evidence to back up the claims made.  My eyes narrowed and I found myself leaping from the couch and landing in front of the man I knew to be Lorenzo. With a finger extended and poking him in the chest I said in the most assertive voice I could muster "How are you here and can you prove any of the information in this letter?" Almost imperceptibly his eyes narrowed as he looked me up and down. I watched as he assessed me. I watched as his eyes focused on my neck. I knew what he was staring at, my necklace. After what felt like an eternity he responded in a low steady voice "Is my presence here not enough validation for you? Your mother mentioned me by name did she not? That's not the question you seek answers to...you're out of alignment" although the last part was said gently it felt harsh to my ears. I felt my face heat with embarrassment as I dropped my head slightly allowing my attention to focus on the wooden floor. I took a shaky breath in using it as an opportunity to gather my thoughts. For a brief moment I allowed myself to close my eyes and feel what I was feeling without restraint. I could feel anxious energy flowing through me. I could hear Lorenzo's heavy sigh and I was distantly aware of the fact that my dad was no longer pacing. "Lift your head Zuri I was not being critical when I made that statement.. It was meant to help you refocus yourself" He both sounded and looked uncomfortable. I watched as his fist clenched and unclenched as I took a moment to contemplate what I actually wanted to ask him. My eyes scanned the room and landed on my dad. He stood like the pillar that he always was and while it was clear that he was concerned I could see nothing but trust shining in his eye. I could see the ghost of a smile playing on his lips as he waited patiently for me to speak. Slowly I brought my attention back to Lorenzo. The question was right on the tip of my tongue but when I opened my mouth to speak I hesitated. I was scared.. It was one thing to have dreams like this but another thing entirely to have it become your reality. Yet I had to know so I straightened my spine, looked him in the eye and asked "what am I?" he simply shrugged and responded ""You are that,you are, You will choose to become what you choose to become. Titles are not important, young one they are simply labels ..lies. What matters is what you do. So what will you do?" I blinked up at him with wide eyes. What he said was downright blasphemous not that I subscribed to any particular persuasion of faith, it just didn't sit right hearing him speak like that in relation to me. "You're speaking like I am god or something and that didn't answer my question"it came out more forcefully than I intended. Lorenzo wasn't fazed he simply rolled his eyes and stepped closer positioning himself as if he were talking to a small child and repeated "You are that, you are." I didn't have the mental capacity to even dwell on what he could mean by that so instead I said "this letter talks about me having ..magic ...I don't. I never have", I let the sentence trail off. Lorenzo simply chuckled and reached for my marked wrist before I could protest. He placed a soft but quick kiss to the sun in the middle. I felt a cool current of energy shoot up my arm starting from where his lips touched my skin. In that same moment I felt the pendant around my neck warm before it burst into orange-red flames. Although I could feel the warmth of the flames they did not burn nor did they spread. Curiously the flames began to change hue it morphed into a blue- black flame that carried heat as well as a distinct chill moments  later the flames were out and the necklace returned to normal. Although it felt like this lasted an eternity all of this took place in a matter of seconds. I looked to my dad. He didn't seem the least bit concerned. As if he somehow missed the whole episode. I did a mental scan of my body. I felt the same but different. I couldn't put my finger on it but something was decidedly different. "What did you do?" I couldn't help the accusation in my voice. "You have always been attuned to the energy around you. You prefer to be alone because social situations drain you. You feel your best when you're in nature. Your crystals work better for you than others. You are what you are even if you don't know it. Your magic has always been there you just haven't always known what it was, As to your question I told you before Gaia has marked you. I don't know what she has planned for you but  because she chose you We don't have time for you to come into yourself on your own. I gave you a ...a good shove in the right direction. It isn't fair but you must decide. Do you wish to journey home..do you wish to discover who you are and what you were meant for? Or do you wish to say here? No one will judge you either way" His gaze was steady.. I felt like I was being drawn into his beautiful tiger eyes. He felt familiar even beyond the dreams. The closer I was to him the more I felt the energy within me come alive. He was speaking in riddles and I wasn't entirely sure what his intentions were nor what he wanted from me but somehow I still wanted to be near him. I continued my internal debate. I wanted answers. I always felt like a misfit wherever I went, even with my family. I know they love me but I don't even really fit with them. A small piece of me hoped that if I went with him I would finally feel like I belonged somewhere. The other part of me didn't want to have to say goodbye to my parents. I owed everything to them and I didn't want to abandon them. Suddenly a soft hand on my shoulder interrupted my internal war with myself. I looked up surprised to see my dad's tired eyes. I felt him pull me in for a hug as he held me he whispered in my hair "you will always be my little girl but I need you to know as much as we want you to stay your mother and I always knew there would be  day that we have to say goodbye, we love you no matter what you decide. Don't hold yourself back on our account.'' I could feel tears slip down my cheeks as I nodded and hugged my dad tighter. "Tell mom I love her" I sniffed. After several minutes I stepped away from the only father I've ever known and stepped closer to this strange man that walked out of my dreams. Taking a deep breath in I mentally infused my spine with steel and said "I choose to go ....home"

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