Fixation

01

As she stood before her mirror, Thea let her harsh gaze pick apart every inch of her body. From her jawline to her ankles, her eyes were relentless in their pursuit of her flaws. When she finally pulled away from her reflection, she realized she'd yet to get out clothes to wear. Thea tied her umber colored hair back into a low ponytail and set out to find an outfit. As she searched through overworn clothes and dresses that had never seen the light of day, she resolved to simply shop for an outfit. Not wanting to face the anxiety of a public outing alone, the girl pulled out her phone and found her friend, Hailey's, contact. Shortly after extending an invitation, Thea received a reply informing her that Hailey would love to accompany her. As her outing would still require clothing, she picked out black running shorts and a green crewneck to wear. After taking her hair out of the elastic and hastily brushing through it, Thea applied some light mascara to her upper lashes and decided she was ready. When she stepped outside to wait for Hailey, she was greeted by the warm air that New York so rarely offered.
Hailey's red Honda pulled up shortly after Thea had stepped outside and she beckoned for the girl to get in. Collecting her purse and phone, Thea hurriedly walked to her friends car. As soon as she sat inside, Hailey began to speak, "I literally thought I'd never see you again, where have you been?" she asked. In response Thea offered a shrug and replied, "I've been around, just busy" Somewhat jokingly, Hailey shot back, "too busy to send me a text explaining why you ghosted the guy I tried to set you up with?" After Thea apologized, the two laughed it off and whatever ice that had accumulated throughout the past months thawed in the June heat.
Despite having appeared talkative and at ease throughout the car ride, Thea was anxious as ever. After convincing herself that distance from her best friend was what she needed, Thea thought she would've gotten over any lingering feelings. However, the time only made her dreams of her friend more vivid and the fantasies less attainable. Throughout the three years that Thea had known her best friend, it was hard to name a time when she hadn't wanted to run her hands through her curly hair and kiss her rose colored lips. However, it was impossible to name a time when she'd actually done so. The primary problem with these fantasies was that Hailey had never so much looked at Thea in a non platonic light. The secondary was that as far as Hailey was concerned, Thea was straight.
Despite having known she was lesbian since freshman year of high school, Thea never so much as hinted at being anything other than straight or possibly bisexual. It wasn't that her town was particularly homophobic or that she thought people would hate her. Thea kept her sexual identity to herself because she wanted freedom. Freedom from the stereotypes and the freedom to have a normal high school experience. As terrible as that concept may sound, it was true. Thea felt liberated by being able to date whoever she wanted, even if she never developed feelings for any of them. So now, in the summer before senior year, her sexuality remained under wraps.
Thea must have dissociated because the next thing she knew, Hailey was shaking her arm and by the look on her face, she had been for quite a while. After realizing Thea had snapped out of her trance, she said "hey, earth to Thea- we're at the mall" Thea then cleared her mind and prepared to go inside.

hihi(Not entirely sure anyones reading this but still)
sry if this seems like a short chapter but it's 2:00am and I'm on the verge of collapse! if for some reason you did read up to here, lmk what you think- or don't, I can't make you do anything:))