Somewhere, in some far off section of my mind, I'm thinking about the bottle in my hand. My perspiration making it difficult to grip, my arms cradling it for support. However, the thought at the forefront of my mind is startling and I'd much rather think about the bottle. The thought is pulsing, begging for my attention, asking me why I'm at this party. One more swig and I can forget about it, one more sip and my mind will be such a mess that I won't be able to find the answer. Without grace, I turn the bottle upside down and chug, wincing at the stinging taste, stumbling to the nearest table, letting myself lean on it, and putting the bottle down
When the alcohol hits, the scary thoughts drift out of my mind and are replaced by a funnier, less cautious voice. I can hear her giggling and telling me to find the nearest source of attention, to throw myself into the crowd and allow for it to sweep me away, so I do. I stumble towards the center of the living room, where people are crowding, while groping the air around me, searching for a wall to lean on. Eventually, I make it to the crowd and allow myself to get lost in the distraction.
I'm not entirely sure what time it is or when I began to feel this way, but the lights are blinding and the music's hitting my head like a hammer. The crowd is crushing me and I'm on the verge of collapse. I'd much prefer for the giggly voice to come back, to tell me to pick myself up and get over the sickening feeling, but as my vision progressively blurries, I make my way to the wall, away from the crowd, and clasp my hands over my head, desperate to make the pounding stop.
It's quieter now, my vision's still cloudy, but the pounding has lessened. I allow my eyes to scan the haze engulfed room. My eyes land on a boy in the corner, and I absorb his physique. He has tan skin, dark and curly hair, brown eyes and he looks about 6'0, with a lanky build. The expression on his face is concerning, sick with pensiveness, the corners of his mouth downturned.
Still reeling from the alcohol, I make my way over to him.
YOU ARE READING
Fixation
RomanceThea has spent the entirety of her life flitting from one fixation to another, constantly in search of something more permanent and meaningful. When she finds this in her best friend, she's forced to choose between real and fake, risk and safety. TW...
