In Bloom

His Grave

Beta stared holes into the ceiling above. He thought he could be better and receive love from his family but that was a selfish wish, to begin with. He didn't deserve the chance to get better, he didn't deserve all this new love he was receiving from his family. He truly was a monster.

And Fred, he was completely real, demons were real. Even if his brain was trying to push all the blame on that pumpkin-shaped being, he was the one who shoved Senpai out of anger, not Fred. Fred gave his life, so he could live this new life he didn't deserve.

Fred should have killed him.

He truly was an idiot. Now Beta spent his days locked in his room avoiding therapy appointments and getting fired from his workplace. Fuck, he couldn't even remember when he showered anymore. He only seemed to get worse.

The one thing he was able to succeed at was hiding it from his family. His mom was so busy she would never know he wasn't employed anymore, he even let her drive him there for him to just sit on the curve or call his friends to pick him up.

At his friends' house, they would see that he just wanted to be alone and let him get high in the corner.

Beta was even able to lie to Charlie and Alpha and tell them the therapist he was going to wasn't a right fit and he was working on finding a new one. It was a temporary solution, but it was something.

Despite hating himself he knew he had to stay around at least until Alpha's wedding. He wasn't going to ruin that for them or anyone else in the family. He would leave after it and strive never to be seen by any of them ever again. He didn't know where and he didn't care. He just had to get away because every time he looked at his family, he just saw them as dead corpses walking.

Speaking of dead corpses, Beta sluggishly walked through the house to grab something from the fridge, only to find himself focusing on a picture of his dad that was taped to it. He squeezed his eyes tight and felt tears build up in them. God, dad would hate the man he has become.

"Hon?"

Beta looked over to see his mom with a planner in front of her.

"I thought you worked today?" Beta said back. He wasn't in the right mindset to pretend he was okay right now.

"I am going in later than usual. I haven't talked with you much lately. How are you, bud?"

He glanced back over to the picture on the fridge.

"I'm okay."

He could hear a hum come out of her.

"Hmm... Beta, when was the last time you visited your father?"

"Visit what?"

"You know what I mean. How about you pick some flowers from the garden, and I'll drop you off, so you can give it to him and tell him what you have been doing lately."

It felt pointless to do that because he was going to end up just talking to a pile of dirt, but he didn't have the energy to fight with his mom.

"Okay."

He went out looking at the diverse number of plants and flowers his mother grew in the garden. He couldn't name any of them. His eyes took notice of a red flower with a big black middle. He sighed, collecting a few, feeling a little bad for the flowers.

As he came back inside, he saw his mom was gone.

"Mom?"

"Sorry, sorry!" he heard from the other room. She came back with keys in her hand and with a pile of papers. "I was looking for something for you."