Wtf...?
I said as I looked at my boner that I just got from looking at my friend Dion during swim practice. I've known i've been gay since I was 15 and I got hard to the gay sex scene in shameless. Always related to Mickey. Not in the dad beats my ass kind of way. But closeted kind of way. Feeling trapped in a world of emotions you cant express to anyone. Not being able to convey how you feel because you aren't open enough with not only everyone around you but yourself. That feeling you get when your'e about to fall. Or fail a test. Or get rejected by your crush but ten times worse having feelings for your best friend who is without a doubt straight.
So here I am in the shower jerking off to the thought of Dion until....
"Dawson you in here?
Shit.. shit......SHIT
Not only am I still hard but this things not going down without a fight!?
"yeah i'm in here"
"Can I join in the shower with you my waters cold."
I'm definitely fucked
"yeah man sure" I cannot tell you how I got soft in a instant I just thank god good to know i'm still on his good side.
"Oh yea this is exactly the type of heat I needed" Said Dion, But all I can think about is how good he looks. How defined his six pack is. How he has a perfect chest. How everyone of his teeth align perfectly. How he's not mine and sadly never will be.
"Dawson... Dawson.......DAWSON" Dion says seemingly knocking me out of my trance of complete bliss relishing in his beauty.
"yeah man I kind of just zoned out"
"yeah I can see that" he smiles, God I love that smile
We both soon step out the shower and then start getting changed and he asked me a question that I was surely not expecting....
"Do you ever wondered what it would feel like to experiment with a man?" Why tf would he just ask me that? Could he be...? No not a chance. Right..? Right.....? As a intellectual I choose to respond with....
"Absolutely not..? Are you gay or something Dion?"
"No...?" He responds hinting the slight possibility of unsureness. The slightest inch of hope of a fantasy where he'd feel what I felt but I know that could never be true. Sending me to my ultimate demise. Of forbidden feelings tearing me apart.
YOU ARE READING
Torn Apart
RomanceI should be happy i'm like this? I'm excepted its 2022 and every ones happy about who they are. Everyone is open about their sexuality and actually proud of the way they're turning out. I should be happy about this right?...Right?
