Adventures with Noia

Heathers AU:Part 1

Hello~
This story is a Heathers Au it will be broken up into multiple parts and some songs will be skipped I do recommend you listen to the songs first before reading it
Enjoy!
__________
Act 1
Dear Diary-
September 1st 1989
I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year! And I look around at these kids I've never met in my life and I ask myself....what happened to them?

Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!

They had to be so tiny,happy and shiny like everyone else,playing tag and getting Chased

Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!

Singing and clapping, laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste

Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome

Welcome to every school, these aren't no high schools these are Thunderdomes
Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon

White trash!

College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!
But I know, I know, life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray for a better way
If they changed back then, they could change again
We can be beautiful...

Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

Get away, nerd

Oh Okay...

Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!

Things will get better soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Wake from this coma, take my diploma
Then I can blow this town Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

Watch it!

Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze! But I know, I know...
I know, I know...
Life can be beautiful I pray, I pray I pray, I pray For a better way  We were kind before We can be kind once more We can be beautiful...

"Ah! Hey don't touch me!"
"Well then watch we're you're standing!"

Dear diary
Why~

Why do they hate me

Why don't I fight back

Why do I act like such a creep

Why~

Why won't he date me

Why did I hit him

Why do I cry myself to sleep!

Why~

Somebody hug me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!

Send me a sign god!
Give me some hope here
Something to live for!

Ah! Heather Heather and Heather

Who are these Heathers?

I love Heather Heather and Heather
I hate Heather Heather and Heather

And why do they float above it all..
There dads must be loaded probably selling engagement rings or something,one of them probably runs the yearbook committee because that's how it is at every school...that red one...she looks like a mythic bitch

I like to be their boyfriend
That would be beautiful
If I sat at their table guys would notice me!
That would be beautiful
I like them to be nicer
That would be beautiful
I would like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked and leave her tied up for the rats

"Bleh!"
"Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87."

"Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather"

"Yeah,Nara maybe I should"

"Ah, Heather and Nara-"
"Bleh!"
"And Heather Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class"
"Heather wasn't feeling well we're helping her"
"Not without a hall pass you're not weeks detention!"
I quickly write down something and walk away from the water fountain and give it to the teacher
"Actually miss we're all four of us are on a hall pass,year book committee.."
"I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going"
The tall one in the red looks at me and takes the hall pass
"This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?"
"Um...Noia Sawyer I crave a boon"
"What boon?"
"Let me sit at your table,just once! No talking necessary. If people think you tolerate me then maybe they won't mess with me.. Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes"
"What about prescriptions?"
"Shut up Nara"
"Sorry Heather.."
"For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure"
"And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important"
The green one gets up and walks to me
"Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds"
"And ya know, ya know, ya know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
And we're on our way
Get this guy some blush;
And Heather, I need your brush
Let's make him beautiful"

"Let's make him beautiful..."
"Let's make him beautiful..."
"Make him beautiful!"
"Okay?"
"Okay!"

Out of my way geek!
I don't want no trouble
You're gonna die at three pm
Don't you dare touch me!
Get away pervert
What did I ever do to them
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this!
I think I'm dying!

Who's that with Heather!

Whoa

Heather Heather Heather
And someone
Heather Heather Heather
And a babe!
Heather Heather Heather!
Noia?
Noia,Noia,Noia!

And you know, you know, you know
Life can be beautiful
You hope, you dream, you pray
And you get your way!
Ask me how it feels
Lookin' like hell on wheels...
My God, it's beautiful!
I might be beautiful...
And when you're beautiful...
It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Noia!
Heather! Heather! Heather!
Noia! Noia! Noia! Noia!

Dear Diary!
It's been 3 weeks since I've become friends with the Heathers,well not friends I would more say work partners,by that I mean I get paid with popularity and shit

"Noia! Heather says to haul your ass to the table pronto"
"Noia! I need a forgery of Rams hand writing pronto!"
I start writing this weird love note to some poor girl
"Who is this even for?"
"I just found out Ram used to hang out with Martha Dumptruck!"
"Who?"
"You know the fat nerd who is practically obsessed with Ram!"
"Yea they kissed at recess during kindergarten!"
"And ever since Dumptruck has had a crush on him"
"Perfect job Noia as usual"
Heather then walks away to give the note to the idiot jock...I just let it happen this is the price of popularity,you have to be a complete dick to anyone who doesn't fit in...