marvel oneshots| male reader

Our State of Love- Matt Murdock

pairing: matt murdock and gn!reader
summary: reader n matt are dating, matt used to date foggy, matt still has feelings for foggy
genre: angst, little fluff, hurt/comfort type beat
requested? nope
warnings: cheating, mentions religious stuff, a lot of crying, swearing, a deteriorating relationship.
a/n: insp by tyler the creator's are we still friends? requests should be posted next. this is also posted on my new tumblr account tomurderornottomurder (if you wanna follow lol). some stuff will only be on here and some will only be on there but for the most part, anything posted after this should be on both accounts :)

You love Matt dearly and you love his friend Foggy too. Though neither of you go out of your way to see each other, there is mutual respect and love that mainly comes from both of your relationships with Matt. You know about their past; Matt was surprisingly upfront with it, with everything. Matt had been your close friend for a while and all the secrecy nearly destroyed everything; Matt wouldn't have that with you as his partner. He loved you too much for that. But it seemed there was something, not even he realized for a while, that he was hiding from you.

Things had been good. Matt came home to you every night. He'd earn scoffs and scoldings but he liked that about you, that you cared. He liked your hands on his body, fixing him like your own personal masterpiece. He never minded your fingers roaming his hair and slipping down to his face, he even giggled on more than one occasion. He loved being held by you, being washed up by you, taken care of by you though he'd never admit it to a soul. He also liked that though you yourself weren't religious, you'd hold his hand and pray by his side as he did.

Once, you were on your knees as was Matt. Father Lantom stood in front of you both, bestowing some sort of blessing, you weren't sure just glad to be with Matt. Father Lantom had left but you hadn't seemed to notice and Matt looked over at you and something in him burst. You looked perfect. Light shone through a window, painting your face delicately, a holy masterpiece if Matt could declare such a thing. His eyes were weepy when he stood in front of you and took your hand, gently speaking to you before helping you up. Matt would never forget that moment.

And Matt never did. Every time things were bad, he thought about that moment. When he did something he shouldn't have, he thought about you in that church. When he felt some way he shouldn't have, he remembered you on your knees in front of him, light gracing your features. It always puts him back, if not also making him extremely guilty. You had done nothing but love Matt and he knew he didn't deserve that. You, poor you, were chosen to be with him and that was wretched horrible luck.

Matt did his best to love you and at first, this was easy, it came like running water. He was so in love with you, truly he was. He still is. As time passed, things changed like they always do. His ears didn't perk up every time you spoke like they used to and sometimes you could tell. You'd ask him something and he'd just be humming to himself. At first, you made a deal out of it, something small like asking what was occupying his mind but as time passed and this behavior stayed, you didn't care anymore. You'd ask him if he was ready to go to dinner and with no response, you'd simply go by yourself. Matt wasn't blind to this either though he had been at first.

The next thing to leave was your time with him. He'd stay at the office late for the umpteenth time, leaving the plate you had made for him sit cold and stiff for hours. Still, every night, you made him dinner or brought something back for him. More than once while you were gone he had to clean out his fridge of weeks-old meals. You wouldn't know but it did pain him as much as it pained you. He'd be out as the devil longer and longer, more and more injuries for you to treat. Yet, you were always there when he got back. Your hand on his back as you walk him to the couch, a kiss pressed to his cheek before you went to get the first-aid kit and your hand holding his as you tried to get him to sleep; it was a good effort on your part but Matt's brain was running far too amuck to be consoled.