𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 ; 𝐤𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚 . ◈

confession

Their eventual victory, he later learns, was in no small part thanks to him.

In fact, he made up the majority of the enemy casualties, the rampant explosion of chain lightning from his final attack crippling what was left of the Shogun's forces nearly in half.

Scaramouche receives this report in a dull sort of realization from where he's sitting near Gorou's chosen position, the both of them camping outside of the infirmary, more or less. Kokomi's on the other side of the closed door, working her witchly powers on the Dendro poison pushing its way through Kazuha's bloodstream, and has forbidden either of them to see Kazuha in the meantime.

So here they are, in the longest period of time they've ever spent around each other without engaging in violence. Gorou seems to be at just as much of a loss as Scaramouche is, which is probably why he's rattling off battle statistics into the empty air, even when it becomes clear that the singular other occupant of the hallway is not listening.

Eventually, Gorou switches tactics--he abandons talking in favor of sending uneasy, uncertain glances in Scaramouche's direction, at regular two-minute intervals.

"...I think he'll be fine," is what Gorou eventually decides upon saying, and Scaramouche moves for the first time in the space of an hour, to send the other what he hopes is an extraordinarily dark look.

It's then that Kokomi chooses to make an appearance, stepping out as she neatly wipes her hands on a damp cloth, the last of her Hydro disappearing into a fish-shaped phantom in the air.

Immediately, Scaramouche goes back to what he'd been doing, which is pretending that he isn't listening when Kokomi informs them that Kazuha is stable.

"So...can we--I mean, can I see him?" Gorou asks, shooting Scaramouche another look, one that suggests that he is very badly pretending that he doesn't notice Scaramouche pretending.

Clearly, this is not lost on Kokomi, who gives them both something of a wry look.

"He's asleep, " she says, then reaches forwards, grabbing Gorou by the collar and starting to haul him away, ignoring his squawks of protest.

Astonishingly, they leave without a further word to Scaramouche, perhaps pretending to not have seen him here at all, even as Kokomi has very obviously left the infirmary door in open invitation.

Scaramouche stares at it, tells himself that the sudden hesitation in his heart is out of his intense aversion to being indebted to the sea hag, and not because of the finely-pressed leaf still burning a hole in his pocket.

He looks around himself once more, just to make sure he's really, truly alone--and then pushes his way inside.

"...Scara?"

It's with a badly concealed alarm that Scaramouche jerks backwards, very nearly tipping over a stack of supplies behind him, cursing under his breath because the hag lied to him--Kazuha is not asleep.

In fact, he's very much awake, and very much staring directly at Scaramouche from where he's propped up on a stack of pillows, his expression clouded over with pain. Even still, the delicate set of his features lightens by a touch when they make eye contact, his fingers fiddling gently with his trailing sleeve.

"Um," Scaramouche says, eloquently, because now that he's here, he suddenly thinks that he shouldn't be.

Perhaps Kazuha can sense it, the way that every muscle in Scaramouche's body is poised to flee, because he shifts slightly to the side, wincing at even this subtle movement, and pats the space beside him indicatively. Compelled by whatever magic Kazuha has at his disposal, Scaramouche drifts forwards, settles himself awkwardly at the edge of Kazuha's bed, making certain to keep himself slightly turned away.

"That was stupid of you," he finally declares, in excellent bedside manner. "And I told you I didn't like waiting around."

A smile flickers across Kazuha's face, almost too quick to catch.

Almost.

"And yet you are here."

A breath goes by, then two, and the air between them seems to draw in on itself, the distance between them lessening in steady fractions. Scaramouche looks down, glances at the hazy expectation on Kazuha's features, and then--

"Take this."

He reaches into his pocket and all but shoves the maple-leaf charm at Kazuha, his hand poking it into Kazuha's chest. Kazuha lifts a quick hand to catch it when Scaramouche pulls away, examining it in such a telling silence that Scaramouche feels the knot of tension return to his stomach, his neck prickling with nervous discomfort.

"Ah, this is..."

"It's just a leaf."

"...did you buy this for me?"

Scaramouche feels himself flush red, then white, then back to red, his shoulders hunching up as he slides off of the bed and back to his feet, because Gods, why is embarrassing himself like this?

"I'm leaving," he announces stiffly, a cutting dismissal which does little to disguise the flush in his cheeks.

Nor does it stop Kazuha from reaching out, catching Scaramouche's sleeve with kind fingers.

Scaramouche pauses, dares to tilt his head back to meet Kazuha's gaze, which is shining with an uncomfortable amount of emotion.

"I like it," Kazuha says, and dips his head in that familiar way, gentle and shy. "I like you, Scara."

At this revelation, Scaramouche stares back at Kazuha, makes several attempts at opening and closing his mouth as he searches for something to say. Somehow, his training as a Harbinger, his struggle to survive--none of it has prepared him for this singular, deadly moment, this instant that threatens to pull his heart straight from his chest.

Despite the extraordinary length of his silence, Kazuha stays still, watching him with a measured, easy calm.

"What the fuck do you want me to do about that?" Scaramouche finally settles upon, very romantically.

Somewhere in Liyue, Scaramouche thinks the ghost of Childe just died.

Kazuha bites his lip, turns his eyes upwards to the ceiling.

"Scara," he sighs out, blessedly, incredibly patient--and then he tugs Scaramouche closer, drapes his other hand over Scaramouche's shoulder, and kisses him.

It's a delicate, barely there kiss, painfully shy even with Kazuha taking the initiative. It's warm and Kazuha is soft against him and smells and tastes like strawberries, and when he pulls away, Scaramouche is left rather stunned.

In the time it takes him to recover, Kazuha has already dropped his gaze, looks suddenly unsure of himself as he observes the rigid tension in Scaramouche's frame. It's a rare hesitance, this crack in Kazuha's composure--and, well.

Scaramouche can't just let that stand.

He slides himself back onto the bed and under the covers, until he's pressed up against Kazuha's warmth. Then he kisses him back, with significantly more feeling this time, because both he and his brain are actually participating now.

It's an okay kiss--a good one, if he's feeling generous.

Maybe it's even great.

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next chapter is the last...