"Sir, Are you part of the wedding?"
"It's a part of me."
Hugh held the sphere in his palm and looked around, the tears collecting in his goatee. The foyer was getting a clear light filtered through the stained glass of the hotel. There was a giant staircase that ascended to another floor. The carpet was fresh, vacuumed, and cleaned on the stairs. The handles, recently cleaned, with cheap paint chipping off the handle.Hugh moved his hand up the railing. Closing his eyes he felt a smile sneak across his lips as his moist eyes opened again. Soon, he...well a version of him would be on these stairs sitting with her. They would be smiling for the camera and his happiness would capture at that moment. Imprisoned with her, caught in a loop in these moments.
He turned around and went to the walkway that led to the courtyard. He braced himself again. He couldn't remember how many times he had seen her walk down the aisle. 500? 1000? Like that photo, he had frozen himself at the moment. When he saw his best friend in that white dress and so many things melted away. Even now, so far removed, seeing her made the years and pain slip into a puddle at his feet. Something that he could move past.
But then it would be gone. He went to the courtyard and the wedding party was there. He saw himself with his parents as they walked him down the aisle. Coldness wrapped its fingers around his heart.
How many years since they've been dead? Yet, like so many things, the wounds they inflicted on him burst open when he saw them walk. Alive.
And then the song hits and there she is.
He felt himself breathe out but not breathe back in. That bitterness fell down like rain as he saw her in white. Her hair was long and curled. Her face. Oh her face made his eyes lose control of the tears and his breath caught. She walked with her parents. She walked to meet a version of him at the makeshift altar.
Hugh turned. Seeing the vows, he knew, would kill him. He still listened. Each vow a spear thrown into the air and impaling into his chest and stuck in the ground. Unable to move but gush lifeblood out as the vows bound him and her, and the people cheered."Disgusting," he spat.
Where were they after she...after....after she. His mind was trying to attack him. He looked down at the sphere that brought him here. His one friend. It could move him through time and he wouldn't ever need to move on...from her.
Hugh turned one last time to look at her. Her smile made him smile but seeing himself from so long ago smile. It chased his happiness like a murderer until the euphoria of seeing her was as dead as...
Hugh turned and the sphere reflected his face back to him. Distorted by the metallic nature, he felt himself grow tired and he felt himself fade.
*******
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Hugh rolled over and looked at the alarm. Bright red and flashing he saw the time. He moved over and pushed the snooze button. He laid on his back and felt the weight of time settle upon him. Every time he woke up, he forgets and memories sneak back like assassins for his will. The weight settles on his chest and forces tears out. He turns over and sees the other side of the bed is empty.
He takes the pillow and holds it close and smells it. It's been too long and the smell is gone. The hopelessness of a clean pillowcase. He weeps into it, tears absorbed by a careless pillow. He sets it back and props it up as if she was going to come home and lay on it again. Or lean against it and read something. He gets out of bed and looks at the dresser. He looks at it and picks it up, with gentle grace sliding it on his finger. He looked at. He then took the ring and pulled the ring off, clanking it back on the dresser.Next to it stood the sphere. Like the ring, he saw the reflection on the metal. Even with his frown, the metal distorted his face. He put his hands on it. The phone rang.
"Hugh?"
"Yes, Dr. Spencer. I know I've missed a few appoi..."
"Hugh, I've sent a wellness check for you. Too many people have called asking if you were dead. Where have you been?"
"I...I've been out."
"If you are not going to commit to our therapeutic trajectory I will have to end our arrangement."
"That's fine Dr. Spencer."
"Hugh, don't give up on yourself. There is still time."
"Exactly."
"Hu...".Hugh hung up the phone and picked up the sphere. It never held his fingerprints, if he didn't know better it was like he had never touched it.
"I need another glimpse."
Hugh blinked and when he opened his eyes, he was back in the foyer. Flinching as fresh, warm tears flowed down. His smile appeared ear to ear.
"Sir? Are you a part of the wedding?"
"Its a part of me."
