Deimos x Reader oneshots (complete)

Headcanons

Requested by @Aynimator

-Two flirty fucks dating. Oh boy this is gonna end well
-You two spit pickup lines at each other all day
-If you can cook, good. Deimos cannot cook to save his life and is legally not allowed to go near the stove for the safety of everyone. If you can't, then I guess you guys are gonna live off takeaway, or get Sanford to cook for you
-Constant gifts from both sides
-Your ideal date is on a mission killing agents. Mass genocide is so romantic
-Deimos is always demanding cuddles from you. Lmao touch starved
-If you two aren't on missions, then you're probably at McDonalds
-If anyone tried to hit on you, Deimos will go batshit. Stare the guy down, say "who do you think you are?" and "what are you looking at punk?" and if he's in a bad mood he'll shoot them and say "back off my snack"
-He's feral, so time you better keep an eye on him
-Deimos has a lot of trauma from the agency. So if he's feeling down he'll definitely go to you for comfort